Dating - Good/Bad Experiences

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by ryan stewart

I had a similar situation but after the fact, like she was getting revenge on me by dating someone I knew. It definitely reinforced my decision.

This seems to be a thing with women. I've dated several that have tried to "get back at me" for dating someone I know. This only works if the guy did something to screw up and she did this as "revenge." Revenge never works though. The best revenge is to not care and go live life.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Chihuahua

Well put. My current situation is complicated to say the least. I'm working through some mental gymnastics that have entered the arena. I'm confident I can. This thread is actually therapeutic in some ways, so I appreciate everyone sharing to the degree that you do.

Feel free to share if you're comfortable with it. We'll offer advice or help however we can. There's no judgement here....unless you're Sara.

I'm kidding Sara.

[Chihuahua]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

Feel free to share if you're comfortable with it. We'll offer advice or help however we can. There's no judgement here....unless you're Sara.

I'm kidding Sara.

Ha!!

I appreciate the offer. I'm going to hold my cards to my chest, at least for now. I honestly don't need advice; logically I know what I should do, but logic doesn't always dictate real-life action when matters of the heart are involved. I'm sure many can relate.

[ryan stewart]

Originally Posted by Chihuahua

Ha!!

I appreciate the offer. I'm going to hold my cards to my chest, at least for now. I honestly don't need advice; logically I know what I should do, but logic doesn't always dictate real-life action when matters of the heart are involved. I'm sure many can relate.

LOL, yeah.

Im currently boo'd up and she has her own issues (not like a thing about her past, but baggage she carries with her because of it) and its annoying as all fuck. But sometimes that shit just hits too good, you know.

So were kind of in that cycle where she throws an asinine fit, I just go dark, she comes back and makes up for it, rinse and repeat. I did get some separation and met up with a few only to quickly realize they were going to be carrying their own, but didnt have her upsides, so I let her back in. Thankfully its nothing really bad, its not like cops are getting called.

I think dating at 40 is an odd place for a guy. In my shoes Im a valuable commodity, but youre either going young (which isnt really what I want) or youre trying to find someone your age who hasnt been burned so bad they are a mess.

[Tommy-G]

Originally Posted by dinonz

If you feel so inclined, raise a toast to my ex-gf - she passed away today. This is the same friend who had the massive brain tumor removed 8 months ago - just when she finally finished physical therapy and was getting back to life something happened - we don't know what yet.

So sorry for your loss

[FuzzyPeaches]

Originally Posted by ryan stewart

LOL, yeah.

Im currently boo'd up and she has her own issues (not like a thing about her past, but baggage she carries with her because of it) and its annoying as all fuck. But sometimes that shit just hits too good, you know.

So were kind of in that cycle where she throws an asinine fit, I just go dark, she comes back and makes up for it, rinse and repeat. I did get some separation and met up with a few only to quickly realize they were going to be carrying their own, but didnt have her upsides, so I let her back in. Thankfully its nothing really bad, its not like cops are getting called.

I think dating at 40 is an odd place for a guy. In my shoes Im a valuable commodity, but youre either going young (which isnt really what I want) or youre trying to find someone your age who hasnt been burned so bad they are a mess.

This here hits hard.

[Chihuahua]

Originally Posted by ryan stewart

I think dating at 40 is an odd place for a guy. In my shoes Im a valuable commodity, but youre either going young (which isnt really what I want) or youre trying to find someone your age who hasnt been burned so bad they are a mess.

I'm finding this to be very true as well. I'm guessing you get approached quite regularly. When it happens to me it's either a woman in her 20s or a woman in her mid to late 50s. Very rarely do I get approached by someone in what I would call my 'age bracket' (I'm 45). I definitely don't want someone older than me, but I'm warming up to the idea of being with someone in her 20s, provided we're a good match.

[Dang3r]

Originally Posted by dinonz

If you feel so inclined, raise a toast to my ex-gf - she passed away today. This is the same friend who had the massive brain tumor removed 8 months ago - just when she finally finished physical therapy and was getting back to life something happened - we don't know what yet.

Im so sorry for your loss.

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

As a guy, I can say that I don't have a problem with "modifications", especially if they aren't way overdone. It's obvious from profiles which women have gotten carried away and it has turned into a mental health issue.

To break this down on Sara, she was a real natural born beauty according to her once shown pics, too bad that she hadnt determined that for herself.
Everyone should let do whats their pleasure, no doubt, but mild critics should be taken.

[ryan stewart]

Originally Posted by Chihuahua

I'm finding this to be very true as well. I'm guessing you get approached quite regularly. When it happens to me it's either a woman in her 20s or a woman in her mid to late 50s. Very rarely do I get approached by someone in what I would call my 'age bracket' (I'm 45). I definitely don't want someone older than me, but I'm warming up to the idea of being with someone in her 20s, provided we're a good match.

Honestly, at this point, Id say go for it. At first the idea just makes it seem like its a recipe for trouble but there is a risk of that anyway. It seems many women our age have had a bad relationship/marriage (or at least that is how they frame it, 3 sides) and will carry that into the next. I dont know how many times Ive spent chasing ghosts when she acts irrationally only to have it turn out it has fuck-all to do with me and really its she hasn't gotten over her ex cheating on her, etc.

For both the men AND women of the forum, if you've been burned make sure you take the time to get into therapy and deal with that situation before you even attempt another relationship.

And yeah its pretty obvious what women are running into. They are cagey at first but then they find out you have a career, no baby mama and a home they open up quickly. Im sure the average dude my age who is still single is probably his own sort of mess.

[Chihuahua]

Originally Posted by ryan stewart

And yeah its pretty obvious what women are running into. They are cagey at first but then they find out you have a career, no baby mama and a home they open up quickly.

Bingo. That's me; 45, good career, have my shit together, no kids.

BTW where in ATL are you? The local CCA meet is this Sunday morning at the Barnes & Noble in Alpharetta. Ever go out there?

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

Alright, so here goes. For about the 1 1/2 - 2 years I spent, off and on, dating sites, I would consider my experiences...."fruitful." I would go as far as to say 90% of the women I messaged replied. If they replied, we had at least one date. Most all first dates ended in sex....if not the first, then the second. I was going through a pretty weird emotional phase at that point in life and was extremely reckless. I was upfront with each and every one of those ladies and explained my situation. I wasn't looking for love, didn't expect to find it on a dating site and just took the entire situation as it was.

With all this being said, I'll just come right out with it. It would truly bother me as a man to know that my sweet loving wife, had been in bed with someone like me. Sex is sex, yes; but....well, let's just say I'm a bit different. I have no inhibitions, have no problems being vocal about what I want and well....some of the things I've done to those women and things they've done with me.....I should seriously write a book.

The only conclusion that I am left with, is due to sheer numbers of these women (ages ranging in early 20's to mid to late 50's) and their eagerness to hop in bed with me and aforementioned acts performed, leaves me thinking that this is normal for these women. I imagine that after their week, to a month, of talking/coming to see me, that after it ended, they continued the same behavior with the other guys on the apps. Ladies and gents, I believe that we are all in agreeance that the ladies have no shortage of options on the dating apps. As referenced before, for ladies, it's a never-ending carousel of dick for them to choose from.

Story time behind my opinion on this. A few years after deciding I was done with the dating apps, I ran into a girl, in the grocery store, that I had met on one of the apps. She was by herself, saw me, smiled, acted like she wanted to talk and then suddenly the biggest simp I think I've ever laid eyes on, comes up to her from behind, wrap his arms around her and kisses her on the cheek. I acted like I didn't know her and kept walking. It was at that point my conscience finally arrived. I felt terrible for that guy. That woman was/potentially still is, head over heels in love with her, but would he still be if he had any idea, not only things I did to her, but what about all the other guys??? I was not kind to her during the act. I wasn't mean, but she got violated and used. She was also a very sweet shy religious type girl with a self-proclaimed bad side....she had no idea how vanilla her bad side was until she met me.

So my point is this, if the girl off the dating site gives it up easy, how many other guys before and after you, is she going to give it up that easy to? And did she give it up some guy that is a demon in the sack? Some the acts done with the ladies that I met off the apps are not acts that I would want to know someone had done to my endearing wife. Trust me. Their reactions at the time are indicative that they had never experienced such a thing. I was even told my many that no one had done anything like that to them. Reflecting on it now, there is sex that you have with your SO and then there is sex that you have with someone that means nothing to you (i.e. you don't give a shit about what they think after it's over). These women fall into that category. I somewhat feel awkward saying this, but I found that women loved being treated like a toy (this is the most polite way I can put it) during sex versus being treated with respect, which is what man would expect a woman to want. Not the case.

All I have to go on in life are my personal experiences and the end results that I have witnessed. Again, I'm glad that I did not meet the current girlfriend on a dating site and glad she's never been on one.

Crossing my fingers that this doesn't get seen.

To touch on the point of the fine people on dating apps. There are tons of nice people on dating apps that have no other options of meeting people. I don't disagree with this, but from my experiences of dating apps.....people that make porn, need lessons is all I'll say

This. All of this.

[MKSixer]

dinonz

So sorry for your loss.

[dinonz]

Thanks everyone. I'm still in shock, and sadly still stuck in isolation in New Zealand waiting to get out and see my family.

[Tambohamilton]

Originally Posted by Chihuahua

Ha!!

I appreciate the offer. I'm going to hold my cards to my chest, at least for now. I honestly don't need advice; logically I know what I should do, but logic doesn't always dictate real-life action when matters of the heart are involved. I'm sure many can relate.

I think this is where advice really comes useful. Even if it just solidifies that you'll go against the advice. No pressure though, of course!

[Tambohamilton]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

Sometimes the "She's with me now" mentality is not accurate. I honestly feel bad for the second ex-wife's new husband. She's with him now, but I'm the winner.

As for the mind-fuckery, even with the current girlfriend, my mind still gets the better of me. Every time I hear her fb messenger notification, it automatically makes me think it's another guy; even though she's given me absolutely no reason to think such a thing. Our minds always get the better of us....especially if you've already been through a traumatic experience concerning the same topic.

I agree. But it's the simplest way for me to sweep it under the carpet.

Haha, the rest is just every day for me! My mind chips away at my will to proceed, and eventually I admit defeat and go to bed...next day, same thing. Stupid brain!

[ryan stewart]

Originally Posted by Chihuahua

Bingo. That's me; 45, good career, have my shit together, no kids.

BTW where in ATL are you? The local CCA meet is this Sunday morning at the Barnes & Noble in Alpharetta. Ever go out there?

Smyrna, right on the Hooch, up against Atlanta, what about you. I don't usually go that far north unless I'm on a motorcycle or camping. Speaking of of the weather permits will be in a tent Sunday morning.

I was in the CCA back in Kansas but after I moved here I got into motorcycles, sold the sports car and just tool around in the wagon now.

[Sedan_Clan]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

Alright, so here goes. For about the 1 1/2 - 2 years I spent, off and on, dating sites, I would consider my experiences...."fruitful." I would go as far as to say 90% of the women I messaged replied. If they replied, we had at least one date. Most all first dates ended in sex....if not the first, then the second. I was going through a pretty weird emotional phase at that point in life and was extremely reckless. I was upfront with each and every one of those ladies and explained my situation. I wasn't looking for love, didn't expect to find it on a dating site and just took the entire situation as it was.

With all this being said, I'll just come right out with it. It would truly bother me as a man to know that my sweet loving wife, had been in bed with someone like me. Sex is sex, yes; but....well, let's just say I'm a bit different. I have no inhibitions, have no problems being vocal about what I want and well....some of the things I've done to those women and things they've done with me.....I should seriously write a book.

The only conclusion that I am left with, is due to sheer numbers of these women (ages ranging in early 20's to mid to late 50's) and their eagerness to hop in bed with me and aforementioned acts performed, leaves me thinking that this is normal for these women. I imagine that after their week, to a month, of talking/coming to see me, that after it ended, they continued the same behavior with the other guys on the apps. Ladies and gents, I believe that we are all in agreeance that the ladies have no shortage of options on the dating apps. As referenced before, for ladies, it's a never-ending carousel of dick for them to choose from.

Story time behind my opinion on this. A few years after deciding I was done with the dating apps, I ran into a girl, in the grocery store, that I had met on one of the apps. She was by herself, saw me, smiled, acted like she wanted to talk and then suddenly the biggest simp I think I've ever laid eyes on, comes up to her from behind, wrap his arms around her and kisses her on the cheek. I acted like I didn't know her and kept walking. It was at that point my conscience finally arrived. I felt terrible for that guy. That woman was/potentially still is, head over heels in love with her, but would he still be if he had any idea, not only things I did to her, but what about all the other guys??? I was not kind to her during the act. I wasn't mean, but she got violated and used. She was also a very sweet shy religious type girl with a self-proclaimed bad side....she had no idea how vanilla her bad side was until she met me.

So my point is this, if the girl off the dating site gives it up easy, how many other guys before and after you, is she going to give it up that easy to? And did she give it up some guy that is a demon in the sack? Some the acts done with the ladies that I met off the apps are not acts that I would want to know someone had done to my endearing wife. Trust me. Their reactions at the time are indicative that they had never experienced such a thing. I was even told my many that no one had done anything like that to them. Reflecting on it now, there is sex that you have with your SO and then there is sex that you have with someone that means nothing to you (i.e. you don't give a shit about what they think after it's over). These women fall into that category. I somewhat feel awkward saying this, but I found that women loved being treated like a toy (this is the most polite way I can put it) during sex versus being treated with respect, which is what man would expect a woman to want. Not the case.

All I have to go on in life are my personal experiences and the end results that I have witnessed. Again, I'm glad that I did not meet the current girlfriend on a dating site and glad she's never been on one.

Crossing my fingers that this doesn't get seen.

To touch on the point of the fine people on dating apps. There are tons of nice people on dating apps that have no other options of meeting people. I don't disagree with this, but from my experiences of dating apps.....people that make porn, need lessons is all I'll say

In many ways I share your experiences and viewpoints to the extent that I always "wonder" how many other guys have/had it the way I have/had it. While I don't play the double standard game (…we are all equal in my eyes, promiscuous or not), I don't think I would want to know what a woman I'm really into did with men before me. Like you, most of my first or second dates end(ed) in sex about 95% of the time; many of them I still have access to now. If I had a dollar for every time I talked a woman into a threesome with me and my best friend (…pleasure for her/them only, no game of "tummy sticks" with me and my best friend, lol!), I would have a wad of cash in my pocket. To be fair though, I've managed to pull this type of stuff off even before online dating was even a thing. I think online dating just allows for even more connection because we have access to more people at the swipe of a thumb.

[Chihuahua]

Originally Posted by ryan stewart

Smyrna, right on the Hooch, up against Atlanta, what about you. I don't usually go that far north unless I'm on a motorcycle or camping. Speaking of of the weather permits will be in a tent Sunday morning.

I was in the CCA back in Kansas but after I moved here I got into motorcycles, sold the sports car and just tool around in the wagon now.

Cool deal. I'm in Johns Creek. I let my CCA membership lapse ages ago, but I do try to make it out to the local meetup every couple of months or so. It's the third sunday of every month, if you're ever in the area let me know.

[ryan stewart]

Originally Posted by Chihuahua

Cool deal. I'm in Johns Creek. I let my CCA membership lapse ages ago, but I do try to make it out to the local meetup every couple of months or so. It's the third sunday of every month, if you're ever in the area let me know.

Maybe we can meet up at Bocado Burger (if it's still open) one day on my way back from Suches.

[Chihuahua]

Originally Posted by ryan stewart

Maybe we can meet up at Bocado Burger (if it's still open) one day on my way back from Suches.

Sounds good to me. PM me and I'll give you my number.

[ragingpanda]

Originally Posted by Alfisti

The key is marrying a woman that makes more than you, it really helps

So the key is to willingly pay for your own incarceration? Marriage is not a word, it's a sentence.

[Sara]

So Georgia peeps can get together in a few posts, meanwhile the Louisiana members still haven't set a date/time/location....unless y'all had drinks without me!!!