friend is trying to set me up...

[MCMLXXXIX]

hey guys, I could really use the advice/help on this one...

So my best friend is trying to set me up with his cousin, even his mom thought it was a good idea. One day he just came up to me and told me hes getting me a date with her. He had told her about me already so I agreed to it.

On the fourth of July he had a family & friends party so I attended and she was there. His backyard is HUGE and sectioned into 4 or 5 secluded areas so you pretty much hung out with who you knew. About halfway through the day he brought her over and we introduced ourselves. Now Im a pretty shy person and have never been in this kind of situation. My other friends were there so it was a little bit less awkward but nonetheless, the introduction was short before she went into the house to grab stuff. I told my friend that I was interested in pursuing this so I was looking forward to talking to her.

As the party went on my friend came back over looking for me (I dont even remember where I was) and told me she wanted to talk to me more, so the three of us (me, him and his gf) went over to her. When we got there she went back into the house again to grab drinks for the people she was with. My friend then takes me back around the house so he could smoke. I was so confused but I guess he didnt want to leave me waiting there with random people and feel out of place. When we went back to his cousin, she ran up to his gf, whispered something and they ran into the house, so I just went back to the pool where my friends were. Overall the experience was awkward, even my friend admitted it since her family and everyone was around so it was kinda weird to get something going. I wouldve tried to talk to her and get her number or something but there was never a good chance

anyway, Im wondering...what should I do? She seems interested and Id really like to pursue this and see where it goes but I have no idea on what the next step is. It was kinda weird how we met and didnt really get a chance to talk or exchange numbers. I also dont want to be hassling my friend about her, I think I should take over...

Thanks guys, sorry for the long read

[Express]

get number from friend, take her to dinner, proceed as you wish.

[CollinsE90]

You should of approached her by yourself, would of made it much harder for her to walk away. You with your friends gave her a scapegoat, because if she walked away they were still there. If you approached yourself she would have been obliged to stand there without leaving and listening to what you had to say. Have confidence, she sounds shy too and two shy people don't make for a good meeting. You need to take away her shyness by good conversation, jokes to make her laugh, and anything you can do to make her feel comfortable.

I also wouldnt advise getting the number from the friend, shows lack of confidence. Get them to invite her out to a club, concert whatever(not a double date), and do what I said above.

[Forcefed3]

pics and you shall receive help.

[AngelinIsRich08]

Hey, how much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice.

[MCMLXXXIX]

Originally Posted by CollinsE90

You should of approached her by yourself, would of made it much harder for her to walk away. You with your friends gave her a scapegoat, because if she walked away they were still there. If you approached yourself she would have been obliged to stand there without leaving and listening to what you had to say. Have confidence, she sounds shy too and two shy people don't make for a good meeting. You need to take away her shyness by good conversation, jokes to make her laugh, and anything you can do to make her feel comfortable.

I also wouldnt advise getting the number from the friend, shows lack of confidence. Get them to invite her out to a club, concert whatever(not a double date), and do what I said above.

From what he told me, she is not a shy person at all. she seemed extremely outgoing. youre right, I shouldve gone there myself but I guess all the pressure made me nervous

as for getting her number, I agree with you. He wants to get a double date going but I also dont think thats a good idea.

[Express]

man i wish i had the balls to make a relationship advice thread. on this forum.

[MCMLXXXIX]

Originally Posted by express705

man i wish i had the balls to make a relationship advice thread. on this forum.

lmao, I know what Im getting myself into...but I know Ill get something out of it lol (also, see avatar)

[CollinsE90]

Originally Posted by MCMLXXXIX

From what he told me, she is not a shy person at all. she seemed extremely outgoing. youre right, I shouldve gone there myself but I guess all the pressure made me nervous

as for getting her number, I agree with you. He wants to get a double date going but I also dont think thats a good idea.

Outgoing doesn't mean they aren't shy with the opposite sex. She might be outgoing when she is in a comfort zone, but put her with someone she doesn't know that she is attracted to, might change that.

Double date also makes her think you're not confident. Meeting up at a club, bar, concert, or party is your best bet. Come alone, time it to where you're the last one to get there of the 4, gives your friends time to talk you up and when you walk in she will already expect good things. Walk in, take charge and start the convo. If at the club/concert, ask if she wants to accompany you to the bar for a drink and talk to her alone but not overly aggressive. Just small talk that keeps her interested, couple jokes to make her laugh.

Bada bing, bada boom, she is blowing you within days.

[Express]

forever alone

[JayKay335i]

When a girl walks away from you multiple times it usually means shes not interested. When you keep pursuing a girl who keeps walking away from you, you are usually construed as creepy.

[E90SoFlo]

Originally Posted by express705

forever alone

its true he is..

OP add her on Facebook and get her number, then take her to dinner and live happily ever after

[MCMLXXXIX]

Originally Posted by CollinsE90

Outgoing doesn't mean they aren't shy with the opposite sex. She might be outgoing when she is in a comfort zone, but put her with someone she doesn't know that she is attracted to, might change that.

Double date also makes her think you're not confident. Meeting up at a club, bar, concert, or party is your best bet. Come alone, time it to where you're the last one to get there of the 4, gives your friends time to talk you up and when you walk in she will already expect good things. Walk in, take charge and start the convo. If at the club/concert, ask if she wants to accompany you to the bar for a drink and talk to her alone but not overly aggressive. Just small talk that keeps her interested, couple jokes to make her laugh.

Bada bing, bada boom, she is blowing you within days.

He always has small parties so Ill see if hell throw one and bring her over. does that seem good? Shes not 21 so it may be tough for bars. Itll also be more natural and easy going

theres also some huge festival thing going on next saturday, and Im pretty sure shell be there but I dunno if thats too long from now.

[CollinsE90]

Originally Posted by JayKay335i

When a girl walks away from you multiple times it usually means shes not interested. When you keep pursuing a girl who keeps walking away from you, you are usually construed as creepy.

True

But if he approached with his friend and girlfriend it was most likely awkward for her. He can't do what I mentioned above because they were there. They should of walked away after the relay, he should of asked her to join him doing something, or should of approached on his own.

[MCMLXXXIX]

Originally Posted by JayKay335i

When a girl walks away from you multiple times it usually means shes not interested. When you keep pursuing a girl who keeps walking away from you, you are usually construed as creepy.

Well thats the thing, I never chased after her. She told my friend she wanted to talk to me more, and when I went over, she split lol. I understand what youre saying and Id be able to recognize that, but I dont think this is the case. I could be wrong

[CollinsE90]

Originally Posted by MCMLXXXIX

He always has small parties so Ill see if hell throw one and bring her over. does that seem good? Shes not 21 so it may be tough for bars. Itll also be more natural and easy going

theres also some huge festival thing going on next saturday, and Im pretty sure shell be there but I dunno if thats too long from now.

Either one is good, if you choose the party route show up by yourself and after she gets there. Walk in with confidence and ask her to join you outside, or need to go get some beer for the party something like that. Or just approach her after a few minutes and say "nice to see you again" and start asking questions like major, are you from here (dont ask all of the questions, ask a bunch and then see if she starts asking you questions) etc...If she accepts to go outside or just starts answering/asking questions she is interested, if she makes an excuse leave it alone and enjoy yourself the remainder of the night, dont act like the whole reason you came was her.

[CollinsE90]

Originally Posted by MCMLXXXIX

Well thats the thing, I never chased after her. She told my friend she wanted to talk to me more, and when I went over, she split lol. I understand what youre saying and Id be able to recognize that, but I dont think this is the case. I could be wrong

without definitive proof, never assume you're wrong

[MCMLXXXIX]

also, I may have said something wrong here...

after my friend had a smoke, we were on our way back to the pool area (we had no idea if she came back or not) and thats where she popped up and ran up to his gf. we werent on our way to where she was sitting with those people

[JayKay335i]

Whether your wrong or not, she sound like a 14yr old, or a twat, or both.

Walk away before she puts your balls in a jar on her shelf and you are left as a female opera singer.

[MCMLXXXIX]

Originally Posted by CollinsE90

Either one is good, if you choose the party route show up by yourself and after she gets there. Walk in with confidence and ask her to join you outside, or need to go get some beer for the party something like that. Or just approach her after a few minutes and say "nice to see you again" and start asking questions like major, are you from here (dont ask all of the questions, ask a bunch and then see if she starts asking you questions) etc...If she accepts to go outside or just starts answering/asking questions she is interested, if she makes an excuse leave it alone and enjoy yourself the remainder of the night, dont act like the whole reason you came was her.

Ok sounds good, Ill talk to him about it next time I see him. I definitely like that idea. Thanks for the advice! Ill keep you guys updated

[MCMLXXXIX]

Originally Posted by JayKay335i

Whether your wrong or not, she sound like a 14yr old, or a twat, or both.

Walk away before she puts your balls in a jar on her shelf and you are left as a female opera singer.

LOL, Ill get a better understanding next time I see her

[just4kickz]

green lights everywhere... just pull the trigger and gooooo.