Dating - Good/Bad Experiences

[Chihuahua]

Originally Posted by Sara

That's what I need to figure out. I don't know what I want. One moment I want this, the next day I want that. Just need to take a break from it all and play with the ponies.

I don't have anything to add other than I would (still) encourage you to delete every dating app you have on your phone and never look back, especially if you are not sure of what your relationship goals are.

[upstatedoc]

Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan

The black ones can be a wild ride.

I see what you did there

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by Chihuahua

I don't have anything to add other than I would (still) encourage you to delete every dating app you have on your phone and never look back, especially if you are not sure of what your relationship goals are.

I disagree.

The dating apps like anything else are a tool. How you use them determines how effective they are. I'm 30, but work a hectic job, take care of relatives, and also run my own business on the weekends. Somewhere in there I find time to workout every day and hang out with close friends. Online dating apps are the easiest way for me to meet people, and I have made some good connections. You have to establish what you want first before you can look though. Part of meeting others online is making clear what your intent is, which helps you weed through the people you aren't interested in.

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by Sara

That's what I need to figure out. I don't know what I want. One moment I want this, the next day I want that. Just need to take a break from it all and play with the ponies.

It's definitely important to take the time to clear your mind and determine what you are looking for. Attention is fun, but is it ultimately all you are looking for? I've been on a few dates recently with women who I was attracted to physically, but I knew it wasn't going anywhere on an emotional level, and I'm at the point in my life where I'm not looking for one night stands, and don't want to waste anyone's time.

[Sedan_Clan]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

It's definitely important to take the time to clear your mind and determine what you are looking for. Attention is fun, but is it ultimately all you are looking for? I've been on a few dates recently with women who I was attracted to physically, but I knew it wasn't going anywhere on an emotional level, and I'm at the point in my life where I'm not looking for one night stands, and don't want to waste anyone's time.

I'm in the same boat as you. I'm looking for substance beyond a good orgasm. I'm looking for that interaction with somebody whose company I enjoy equally outside of the bedroom. The last time I posted something like that in this thread, somebody told me I sounded like a girl. I suppose I'm not the only man who has grown up.

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan

I'm in the same boat as you. I'm looking for substance beyond a good orgasm. I'm looking for that interaction with somebody whose company I enjoy equally outside of the bedroom. The last time I posted something like that in this thread, somebody told me I sounded like a girl. I suppose I'm not the only man who has grown up.

Haha I think it just means we also crave emotional/mental stimulation in addition to physical.

It's 10x hotter to me to be with someone I've been chasing, or to be with someone who challenges me and gives me shit.

[Sara]

Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan

The black ones can be a wild ride.

Well all three horses are indeed black lol

[Sedan_Clan]

Originally Posted by Sara

Well all three horses are indeed black lol

Right on! Once you go…….

Originally Posted by Sara

This!

My mom claims I messed up a really good one. Had a sweet, good looking guy, who did everything for me. Perfect in nearly every way. But he wasn't a challenge, was always available for me. Wanted to see me way more than I wanted to see him. I cut him loose. I just didn't like all the love and affection from him. Smothering.

What the hell is wrong with me? That seems like every woman's dream! I must be crazy not to want that.

I think you just have to be at a point where you're ready for it. I've let go of a few too; a few who just wanted to love me and were really sweet, attentive women. Fast forward many years and now I'm seeking that which I've given up a handful of times. It's maturity.

[Sedan_Clan]

Originally Posted by Sara

It's maturity and I think I'm just not ready to give up my time all the time. I told A Wednesday night the reason I really like him is he's not here all the time due to his job. He's always flying and gives me my independence. I don't have to see someone everyday or even every week. Hell he's gone for a month right now and I like that. I love being by myself more than I like being with a guy. Pilots schedules are perfect for that. At least right now.

Relationships are all about balance. I'm with you on the time alone/independence thing. You don't have to give up your time, however. All it takes is communication. It begins there….

[Tommy-G]

I love everytime my wife goes to visit her sister out of state, and after 2 hours hanging with the dog I cant wait for my wife to return. But we get along, we talk and bicker once a month about nothing and then its back to normal.

[Sedan_Clan]

Originally Posted by Sara

See, that's what I like. Looking forward to something. When he leaves, I get to look forward to when he eventually returns. Someone every day would be like, "oh, you again." Nothing to look forward to.

I'm a strange kind of crazy.

If that's your view, you might as well resign yourself to being single for the rest of your days (…or at the very least, being no man's priority……all while another woman is probably hovering in the peripheral).

Note: If we like being gone, chances are there's another woman.

[Sedan_Clan]

Originally Posted by Sara

I'm fine with that! I go back and forth, but leaning towards staying single.

My kid asked me last night when I'm going to marry A. I don't know why she constantly brings up marriage with me. Mommy doesn't need a boy! I might want one, one day.

Well then, it sounds like your mind is made up. No need for that blood pressure check then. If you're okay with the terms, you shouldn't care at all and none of this should be occurring.

[Tambohamilton]

Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan

I've let go of a few too; a few who just wanted to love me and were really sweet, attentive women. Fast forward many years and now I'm seeking that which I've given up a handful of times. It's maturity.

Thank you for this.

[Fly320s]

Originally Posted by Sara

Pilots schedules are perfect for that. At least right now.

Well, hello there.

[Fly320s]

Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan

Note: If we like being gone, chances are there's another woman.

Nah. Everyone is different. There are those that will cheat and those that wont.

I love being gone from home. I am also a faithful husband.

Being gone from home is freedom from the daily responsibilities, but I have to go home and face the music eventually.

Being faithful is upholding a promise. That is part of the trust of marriage.

[fiveohwblow]

Originally Posted by Fly320s

Nah. Everyone is different. There are those that will cheat and those that wont.

I love being gone from home. I am also a faithful husband.

Being gone from home is freedom from the daily responsibilities, but I have to go home and face the music eventually.

Being faithful is upholding a promise. That is part of the trust of marriage.

Bingo. I’m gone nearly all day tomorrow. C&C and a business meeting for a potential entrepreneurial endeavor. I love being gone as I’m incredibly social. I too don’t want smothered. Can’t stand the couples that have convinced themselves their partner is the breathing apparatus to which life begins for them. Hardest of passes.

[Sedan_Clan]

Originally Posted by Fly320s

Nah. Everyone is different. There are those that will cheat and those that wont.

I love being gone from home. I am also a faithful husband.

Being gone from home is freedom from the daily responsibilities, but I have to go home and face the music eventually.

Being faithful is upholding a promise. That is part of the trust of marriage.

Well yes, but I'm making a general statement (…especially with reference to this loose, volatile and fickle dating world we're in currently). You aren't in the same boat as you've been married a long time and aren't a "fly-by-night-dip-your-dick-into-anything-that-walks-or-struts-the-plane-aisle" type of pilot.

I hear the stories from my flight attendant gal pals/ex lovers. The small cues and clues left behind when the pilots/flight attendants are down for the bang while on a trip. An elevator ride away from a session of frills & thrills.

[M5Rick]

For hi BP you need Amlodipine though not that I take it. See your doc.

[DieselDiner]

Originally Posted by fiveohwblow

Can’t stand the couples that have convinced themselves their partner is the breathing apparatus to which life begins for them. Hardest of passes.

Agree, that behavior can be hard to stomach. However, live and let live and all that...

[Sara]

Originally Posted by M5Rick

For hi BP you need Amlodipine though not that I take it. See your doc.

It’s not just high BP. I shouldn’t be gasping for air while sitting down, nor nearly fainting when I stand up from a resting position. I’m working with a cardiologist currently.

[zx10guy]

Originally Posted by Sara

I’m fine with that! I go back and forth, but leaning towards staying single.

My kid asked me last night when I’m going to marry A. I don’t know why she constantly brings up marriage with me. Mommy doesn’t need a boy! I might want one, one day.

I don't know all the details around your personal life. But kids crave stability and having two parental figures in their lives. From just reading on the surface, she seems to be craving a father figure in her life. If you have young kids, the decisions you make around having a significant other goes beyond what you want if you're going to expose that other person on a regular basis around your kid.

Since being divorced and dating, I have never exposed my young daughter to any of the women I've dated. I will only do this if I've been dating a woman for more than 6 months and I feel that it's going to be lead to at least an LTR. I don't want my daughter dealing with a revolving door of women popping in and out of her life. Again, I don't know your personal situation and for all I know you've been dating A for a long time.

[M5Rick]

Originally Posted by Sara

It’s not just high BP. I shouldn’t be gasping for air while sitting down, nor nearly fainting when I stand up from a resting position. I’m working with a cardiologist currently.

Reading deeper into the thread I see now it's not just bp, I won't say anymore on heart and I'm sure your cardiologist can help you in every way they can.
For sure it's important to keep yourself happy like riding and looking after that fine horse in your keep.