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      02-24-2021, 07:10 PM   #8119
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I've never been on a "date". Not sure I ever want to after reading this nonsense. Sounds like dating is a meat grinder for your soul.
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      02-24-2021, 07:30 PM   #8120
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So... real weird scenario here if anyone can chime in-

Went on 5 dates with a girl, both had a great time... even both parties confirmed it.

I always paid for everything... Saw her Saturday... hung out until late and again both confirmed a good time... i noticed however that I hadn't heard anything from her for a few days after... seemed weird considering we saw each other 5 times and she always wanted to hang out again.

Today I text her a little more seriously... and simply say what is this between us because i find it odd I haven't heard anything from you... the response i get is you're a great guy and i've had a great time and you deserve honesty but I can't commit...

LOL WTF...

You mean, you couldn't tell me this the 2nd time or even after the 1st? But whenever I wanted to see you, you did too and I made my intentions clear from the get go... you suddenly realize this?

Alright... some give me thoughts here-

Was she looking to just have a good time?
Dating others? (this is my thought... again apps give to many options so this is my thought)
Completely confused?
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      02-24-2021, 07:44 PM   #8121
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ASAP View Post
So... real weird scenario here if anyone can chime in-

Went on 5 dates with a girl, both had a great time... even both parties confirmed it.

I always paid for everything... Saw her Saturday... hung out until late and again both confirmed a good time... i noticed however that I hadn't heard anything from her for a few days after... seemed weird considering we saw each other 5 times and she always wanted to hang out again.

Today I text her a little more seriously... and simply say what is this between us because i find it odd I haven't heard anything from you... the response i get is you're a great guy and i've had a great time and you deserve honesty but I can't commit...

LOL WTF...

You mean, you couldn't tell me this the 2nd time or even after the 1st? But whenever I wanted to see you, you did too and I made my intentions clear from the get go... you suddenly realize this?

Alright... some give me thoughts here-

Was she looking to just have a good time?
Dating others? (this is my thought... again apps give to many options so this is my thought)
Completely confused?


some women jus want the company, they are bored. who tf knows
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      02-24-2021, 07:47 PM   #8122
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Originally Posted by TrevorM3 View Post
some women jus want the company, they are bored. who tf knows
yeah i don't get it at all.... it's not like there wasn't any affection shown...
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      02-24-2021, 07:48 PM   #8123
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ASAP View Post
So... real weird scenario here if anyone can chime in-

Went on 5 dates with a girl, both had a great time... even both parties confirmed it.

I always paid for everything... Saw her Saturday... hung out until late and again both confirmed a good time... i noticed however that I hadn't heard anything from her for a few days after... seemed weird considering we saw each other 5 times and she always wanted to hang out again.

Today I text her a little more seriously... and simply say what is this between us because i find it odd I haven't heard anything from you... the response i get is you're a great guy and i've had a great time and you deserve honesty but I can't commit...

LOL WTF...

You mean, you couldn't tell me this the 2nd time or even after the 1st? But whenever I wanted to see you, you did too and I made my intentions clear from the get go... you suddenly realize this?

Alright... some give me thoughts here-

Was she looking to just have a good time?
Dating others? (this is my thought... again apps give to many options so this is my thought)
Completely confused?
Yes, yes, and yes.

1- dating for most women is to have fun while actively comparing you to other dudes. By the 5th date most men would basically be getting ready to lock her in. I know I would, at least. If I've gone on 5 dates with someone I'd start phasing others out. From chick friends though I've heard there's a long "decision process", if any, until they start phasing other guys out.

2- Completely confused sounds about right. The "in" thing right now is to have commitment issues. My gf's 19 year old cousin thinks she has "commitment issues" because she can't even finish a movie without getting distracted. ADHD is being perceived as commitment issues, basically.

3- This is a bit of a hot-ish take, and kinda a reply to the other guys above as well; why do you guys pay for everything? Obviously there's an age difference between me and most here, but I learned quickly to NEVER EVER pay for both on the first date.

Also, lastly - did you guys just go on 5 dates with no "action" at the end? I know I've lost a few girls because I didn't invite them back or barely gave a kiss. She may have taken that as a sign that you're not interested - ask me how I know
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      02-24-2021, 07:52 PM   #8124
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Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle View Post
Yes, yes, and yes.

1- dating for most women is to have fun while actively comparing you to other dudes. By the 5th date most men would basically be getting ready to lock her in. I know I would, at least. If I've gone on 5 dates with someone I'd start phasing others out. From chick friends though I've heard there's a long "decision process", if any, until they start phasing other guys out.

2- Completely confused sounds about right. The "in" thing right now is to have commitment issues. My gf's 19 year old cousin thinks she has "commitment issues" because she can't even finish a movie without getting distracted. ADHD is being perceived as commitment issues, basically.

3- This is a bit of a hot-ish take, and kinda a reply to the other guys above as well; why do you guys pay for everything? Obviously there's an age difference between me and most here, but I learned quickly to NEVER EVER pay for both on the first date.

Also, lastly - did you guys just go on 5 dates with no "action" at the end? I know I've lost a few girls because I didn't invite them back or barely gave a kiss. She may have taken that as a sign that you're not interested - ask me how I know
all good thoughts man... as far as paying... imho it def should happen on the 1st date but does not need to after the 1st.
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      02-24-2021, 07:55 PM   #8125
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      02-24-2021, 08:10 PM   #8126
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Originally Posted by ASAP View Post
all good thoughts man... as far as paying... imho it def should happen on the 1st date but does not need to after the 1st.
Valid point, I'll say this - I pay on the first date if I think it's worth it. If it's someone I'm not thinking of a serious relationship I won't pay for anything on the first date.
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      02-24-2021, 08:34 PM   #8127
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ASAP View Post
So... real weird scenario here if anyone can chime in-

Went on 5 dates with a girl, both had a great time... even both parties confirmed it.

I always paid for everything... Saw her Saturday... hung out until late and again both confirmed a good time... i noticed however that I hadn't heard anything from her for a few days after... seemed weird considering we saw each other 5 times and she always wanted to hang out again.

Today I text her a little more seriously... and simply say what is this between us because i find it odd I haven't heard anything from you... the response i get is you're a great guy and i've had a great time and you deserve honesty but I can't commit...

LOL WTF...

You mean, you couldn't tell me this the 2nd time or even after the 1st? But whenever I wanted to see you, you did too and I made my intentions clear from the get go... you suddenly realize this?

Alright... some give me thoughts here-

Was she looking to just have a good time?
Dating others? (this is my thought... again apps give to many options so this is my thought)
Completely confused?
Two words: free s**t.
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      02-24-2021, 08:49 PM   #8128
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ASAP View Post
So... real weird scenario here if anyone can chime in-

Went on 5 dates with a girl, both had a great time... even both parties confirmed it.

I always paid for everything... Saw her Saturday... hung out until late and again both confirmed a good time... i noticed however that I hadn't heard anything from her for a few days after... seemed weird considering we saw each other 5 times and she always wanted to hang out again.

Today I text her a little more seriously... and simply say what is this between us because i find it odd I haven't heard anything from you... the response i get is you're a great guy and i've had a great time and you deserve honesty but I can't commit...

LOL WTF...

You mean, you couldn't tell me this the 2nd time or even after the 1st? But whenever I wanted to see you, you did too and I made my intentions clear from the get go... you suddenly realize this?

Alright... some give me thoughts here-

Was she looking to just have a good time?
Dating others? (this is my thought... again apps give to many options so this is my thought)
Completely confused?
To me she was playing the field, a better (to her) player came along. You went from 1 to 2 real quick. Move along, consider it food for thought next time you’re “hanging out.”
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      02-24-2021, 09:15 PM   #8129
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fiveohwblow View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by ASAP View Post
So... real weird scenario here if anyone can chime in-

Went on 5 dates with a girl, both had a great time... even both parties confirmed it.

I always paid for everything... Saw her Saturday... hung out until late and again both confirmed a good time... i noticed however that I hadn't heard anything from her for a few days after... seemed weird considering we saw each other 5 times and she always wanted to hang out again.

Today I text her a little more seriously... and simply say what is this between us because i find it odd I haven't heard anything from you... the response i get is you're a great guy and i've had a great time and you deserve honesty but I can't commit...

LOL WTF...

You mean, you couldn't tell me this the 2nd time or even after the 1st? But whenever I wanted to see you, you did too and I made my intentions clear from the get go... you suddenly realize this?

Alright... some give me thoughts here-

Was she looking to just have a good time?
Dating others? (this is my thought... again apps give to many options so this is my thought)
Completely confused?
To me she was playing the field, a better (to her) player came along. You went from 1 to 2 real quick. Move along, consider it food for thought next time you’re “hanging out.”
Cold hard truth and honestly that's why all of these apps are useless... all the women think of is who is the next guy and how much better he could be...

Before you know it, they are 40 single, wondering what happened...
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      02-24-2021, 10:21 PM   #8130
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ASAP View Post

Cold hard truth and honestly that's why all of these apps are useless... all the women think of is who is the next guy and how much better he could be...

Before you know it, they are 40 single, wondering what happened...
It's kind of like a lot of things in today's times. We have so much at our fingertips and everything's right in front of you. The options are free flowing. If I just do one more maybe he/she will be the one (not saying anyone should settle). The problem is that mindset never leads to fulfillment. You'll always be searching.

It reminds me of shopping. I go online and scroll and scroll. I find something I like and then my mind says shit, what if I like something better 2 pages over and I don't go see. Next thing you know I've gone 10 pages because I thought I would miss something but I end up back at the item I liked early on.
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      02-24-2021, 10:59 PM   #8131
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Just ended a 4 month relationship.

Cliffs:
She had a pyscho mom and was not very independent. I would rant if anyone is interested.

Story 1: She is a pharmacist and her mom lives with her. She lies to her mom about working 5 days a week when she works 4 to "get away from her mom." It's called her ME day and she dresses up like she's going to work and leaves the house so her mom doesn't know and thinks she's going to work but she does other shit on this fake day off. The kicker: she's 38. This was mind blowing to me. Like... what in the actual fuck?
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      02-25-2021, 03:45 AM   #8132
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Originally Posted by Sara504 View Post
Do you guys go off on a girl if she cancels the first date? I canceled with 7 hours advance notice
No, but it depends on the reason why. There are reasons and reasons...
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      02-25-2021, 04:11 AM   #8133
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[QUOTE=ASAP;27271999]So... real weird scenario here if anyone can chime in-

Went on 5 dates with a girl, both had a great time... even both parties confirmed it.

I always paid for everything... Saw her Saturday... hung out until late and again both confirmed a good time... i noticed however that I hadn't heard anything from her for a few days after... seemed weird considering we saw each other 5 times and she always wanted to hang out again.

Today I text her a little more seriously... and simply say what is this between us because i find it odd I haven't heard anything from you... the response i get is you're a great guy and i've had a great time and you deserve honesty but I can't commit...

LOL WTF...


*Thought I'd come in on your one,it looks like you dated a score keeper that reports to her friends on how many they go out with then...you know, it's silence and they enjoy the thrill of you contacting them constantly getting nowhere.
A strange phenomena employed by some girls/women that can't be explained rationally.
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      02-25-2021, 06:06 AM   #8134
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[QUOTE=Lady Jane;27272982]
Quote:
Originally Posted by M5theonlyone View Post

Stop paying for everything. You were probably a victim of a free loader. As soon as they hear the word 'commitment', they disappear.

Nothing wrong with just dating. Not every woman wants to get married, have babies, do your laundry and cooking and be a mink in the bedroom, even if they are not in the mood.

If you have followed this thread from the beginning you will have read my views on the subject.

Cheers,Attachment 2536896
What’s the point of putting up with someone else’s crap if you’re not going to have a family or get your clothes washed? little value proposition here.
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      02-25-2021, 06:22 AM   #8135
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[QUOTE=Lady Jane;27272982]
Quote:
Originally Posted by M5theonlyone View Post
Nothing wrong with just dating. Not every woman wants to get married, have babies, do your laundry and cooking and be a mink in the bedroom, even if they are not in the mood.Attachment 2536896
Show me where and who and I would come with supersonic to see that
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      02-25-2021, 06:25 AM   #8136
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rebekahb View Post
It's kind of like a lot of things in today's times. We have so much at our fingertips and everything's right in front of you. The options are free flowing. If I just do one more maybe he/she will be the one (not saying anyone should settle). The problem is that mindset never leads to fulfillment. You'll always be searching.

It reminds me of shopping. I go online and scroll and scroll. I find something I like and then my mind says shit, what if I like something better 2 pages over and I don't go see. Next thing you know I've gone 10 pages because I thought I would miss something but I end up back at the item I liked early on.
You shouldn't need to be with someone you don't want to be... that's a terrible idea... however you do need to "settle"... that's how marriage works or frankyl any relationship lol

[QUOTE=Lady Jane;27272982]
Quote:
Originally Posted by M5theonlyone View Post

Stop paying for everything. You were probably a victim of a free loader. As soon as they hear the word 'commitment', they disappear.

Nothing wrong with just dating. Not every woman wants to get married, have babies, do your laundry and cooking and be a mink in the bedroom, even if they are not in the mood.

If you have followed this thread from the beginning you will have read my views on the subject.

Cheers,Attachment 2536896
When you say "just dating"... i hope you don't think I meet up with girls to just kick it with them lol... I have quite a few friends and not really interested in any buddies or just chillin.
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      02-25-2021, 08:08 AM   #8137
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aliiin View Post
Just ended a 4 month relationship.

Cliffs:
She had a pyscho mom and was not very independent. I would rant if anyone is interested.

Story 1: She is a pharmacist and her mom lives with her. She lies to her mom about working 5 days a week when she works 4 to "get away from her mom." It's called her ME day and she dresses up like she's going to work and leaves the house so her mom doesn't know and thinks she's going to work but she does other shit on this fake day off. The kicker: she's 38. This was mind blowing to me. Like... what in the actual fuck?


continue please
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      02-25-2021, 08:16 AM   #8138
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ASAP View Post
So... real weird scenario here if anyone can chime in-

Went on 5 dates with a girl, both had a great time... even both parties confirmed it.

I always paid for everything... Saw her Saturday... hung out until late and again both confirmed a good time... i noticed however that I hadn't heard anything from her for a few days after... seemed weird considering we saw each other 5 times and she always wanted to hang out again.

Today I text her a little more seriously... and simply say what is this between us because i find it odd I haven't heard anything from you... the response i get is you're a great guy and i've had a great time and you deserve honesty but I can't commit...

LOL WTF...

You mean, you couldn't tell me this the 2nd time or even after the 1st? But whenever I wanted to see you, you did too and I made my intentions clear from the get go... you suddenly realize this?

Alright... some give me thoughts here-

Was she looking to just have a good time?
Dating others? (this is my thought... again apps give to many options so this is my thought)
Completely confused?
she is having great time because you are dishing out $$.
she is free loader and using you.
has she contacted you/message you first???
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      02-25-2021, 08:35 AM   #8139
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lady Jane View Post
Dating:

Expectations vs Reality.


This!
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      02-25-2021, 08:50 AM   #8140
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lady Jane View Post
Dating:

Expectations vs Reality.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Sara504 View Post
This!
Honestly, my takeaway from this video is that you are basically saying dating in reality is just a lot of pole / shaft work....
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