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      05-01-2018, 07:32 AM   #1
jaye944
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What age is appropriate for sex education?

So 2 questions

1> From what age is sex education appropriate
2> Is it the states responsibility

So I am all for "relationship" teaching, and also teaching regarding "inappropriate" touching/behavior.

It seems that the taking away of innocence ...

So my DD believes in Santa and the Tooth Fairy, but is also going through basic sex ed, on sperm ovum etc etc

As a Christian I teach my daughter (on our belief's) on morality, bible scripture the full 9, she also get's taught about respect, loving people, and everyone is different.

I was kinda hoping on doing the birds and the bees in and ongoing conversation as I thought appropriate for my daughter.

Sex ed is of course very important, I understand this, but how soon and how much is my concern,
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      05-01-2018, 07:32 AM   #2
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Upcoming Quiz - Thursday: Family Life quiz

Your child needs to understand the following:
-Explain maternity clothes and remember that sperm comes from the father and ovum from the mother.
-3 topics that the Brunell family discussed in the car (new baby, how they met and the wedding)
-Explain the symbolism of a wedding ring
-Identify where the baby grows (uterus)
-Explain what happens to the uterus when the baby is growing (it stretchs with the baby)
-Explain how a baby breathes (umbilical cord)?
Most questions require detail and expansion of ideas during the quiz.
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      05-01-2018, 07:34 AM   #3
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Just to point out, DD no longer believes we go out to "babies R us" and pre-order a baby from a menu LOLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
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      05-01-2018, 08:00 AM   #4
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In the states, sex ed was covered in school (so yes the state) when I was roughly 8. Now being a parent myself, I don't necessarily agree with this. It was only the basics. We didn't get into technique, positions and how to properly choke someone until the next year, I think I was 9 or 10.

Joking aside. I remember as a wee lad, sex (what we knew of it) was already being discussed between classmates on the playground long before the teacher started explaining anything to us. This was back in the early 80's....before everyone had access to the internet. The likelihood of her knowledge about sex is almost a given. Even if she hasn't seen anything on TV or the interwebs, I'm sure some of her classmates have and kids talk with each other about things they see.

How old is your daughter if you don't mind me asking?

BTW, unborn babies do not breathe. Birth is defined by the first breathe a baby takes. Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide are passed between the baby and mother via the umbilical cord and placenta.

Last edited by King Rudi; 05-01-2018 at 08:33 AM..
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      05-01-2018, 08:14 AM   #5
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1. Early and often getting more detailed as you go.
2. No unless you don't care how misinformed they are
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      05-01-2018, 08:49 AM   #6
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Don't think there's a defined answer for this question but if I can add something, teaching kids to separate love from sex is just as important.

A lot of people growing up are usually told "when a man and a woman love each other, they have sex." Teens have no idea what love is at that age and will usually justify having sex because they think they love that person.

Also, you're never going to stop them from having sex. At the very least, responsibility and accountability should be the most important thing to teach.
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      05-01-2018, 09:11 AM   #7
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I just had talk with my 8 year old a few weeks ago. It was the mechanics of things. He has a younger brother (5) and sister (3). I could tell her was questioning the differences in the sexes. I'll follow it up with some of the softer stuff, don't pressure girls, make sure they're comfortable with what you're doing, whips and chains should be discussed beforehand.
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      05-01-2018, 09:21 AM   #8
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There is no answer to "what age" for "sex" education, because all children mature at different rates and ages.
But I also question what is meant by "sex" education. I'd rather think that school teaches "reproduction" rather than proper "sex" (birds and bees) - which actually is good to be given by parent, but you also gotta know that at the age where "reproduction" is taught in school, most kids have got a fair understanding of what sex is just through peer chat and knowledge from the internets, TV, older friends, relatives and relatives of friends. The list is long and distinguished.

Regarding the State - Parenting is primarily the responsibility of parents, not the responsibility of wider society. No amount of impersonal State education can make up for a lack of personal parenting in the areas of personal responsibility and the like, and birds'n'bees is in that category.

I'm sure you'll have a better grasp of what the timing is for your own children and when the time is right, you'll have a good feeling for what to say to your own kids.

You'll do your best, I'm sure, it can't have been easy to put this on the forum, I salute you.

Cheerz

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      05-01-2018, 09:24 AM   #9
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I think that once you start talking to her you'll be surprised by what she already knows. Just build off of that, and make sure she understands that she can come to you with any questions.
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      05-01-2018, 10:00 AM   #10
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3. I have no kids so just tell the neighbor ones about it and wait for the parents funny reactions.
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      05-01-2018, 10:03 AM   #11
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As a former 5th grade teacher I firmly believe that any education on sex should be taught by the parent, no exceptions. Children are all different, and the parents know them best.

Unfortunately, a huge number of parents do not know, or seem to care to learn, the first thing about raising their kids, and want the schools to do it all, then complain when it isn't done to their satisfaction.

To answer your question, only you know when it is appropriate, if you are paying attention. And you should be the one to teach it. We are not talking the mechanics of it, though that will need discussion too at some point, but the whole concept. For some kids it could start with high level basics at 3 years old, like when they see dogs doing it. For others it is later.

No way a teacher can choose the right time as the curriculum is set for them, not only when, but how, to teach it. Needless to say, the instruction will be far too much for some, and not enough for others.
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      05-01-2018, 10:14 AM   #12
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thanks guys for the feedback

so I just wanted to expand on a few things

* I'm happy to discuss the B&tB with her, when I think it's appropriate. I guess, since she's been young, we discuss, a lot of things, touching (what's allowed whats not), feelings, kindness that kind of thing.

Also in context with our belief's what is right and wrong and the consequences,

And I guess, discussing an on going dialogue if she has questions.

I'm not a fan of the state imposing what THEY believe my child should be taught, as far as sex-ed is concerned. I guess they get to a stage in biology when they see and learn what animals are doing right.

I'm def. not a fan of the state teaching my child what they believe is right and wrong as far as gender, sexual behavior, family etc that's not for them to instill THERE values on my daughter.

In some school syllabus' I have seen and heard of certain behavior which is condoned and acceptable, but not as afaic, I teach her love, understanding of everyone, but just because "someone decides to jump of a cliff" doesn't make it right or correct.

I also guess being totally honest seeing my little girl growing up and I really want her to be for as long as possible, as innocent as possible.

Daughter hugged wife last night and said she would like to go back into OH uterus, LOL, prior she would have said "tummy" yeah it was funny at the time.

I guess seeing her homework assignment on "Explain maternity clothes and remember that sperm comes from the father and ovum from the mother.

Kinda rattled my "daddy" cage.

Damn when I was 7, I was playing with my GI Joe, riding bikes, playing football, the "closest" I got to sex ed, was "Sarah Jane" was my new girlfriend, by the logic that she had never ever spoken to me and today had asked to loan my eraser LOLZ
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      05-01-2018, 10:39 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PshhhhhMW View Post
Don't think there's a defined answer for this question but if I can add something, teaching kids to separate love from sex is just as important.

A lot of people growing up are usually told "when a man and a woman love each other, they have sex." Teens have no idea what love is at that age and will usually justify having sex because they think they love that person.

Also, you're never going to stop them from having sex. At the very least, responsibility and accountability should be the most important thing to teach.
This.
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      05-01-2018, 11:00 AM   #14
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My boys are six and seven and I've spoken with them quite honestly how kids happen.

"Boys, when you're older, the balls I keep telling you need to wash turn in to time bombs. You too will be infected by the swinging penis syndrome that'll make you show yours to everyone willing to look at it. If you catch a girl willing to do more than stare, you need to under a ban catcher in between you, or you probably spend the rest of your life just washing your sacks. .

I have also explained to them that a baby is a demon that takes over the future mom and you better make babies only with someone who doesn't have the skill set to kill then since if they're anything like their father, chances are violent thought happen often.

I have also told them that if they want to watch a documentary about a pregnancy, they can always watch the exorcist. That is an accurate description of how I was while hauling them around.
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How would you know this? Did mommy catch you jerking off to some Big Foot porn ?
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      05-01-2018, 08:26 PM   #15
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does the option for showing a pornhub video exist? nothing weird... conservative positions
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      05-01-2018, 08:33 PM   #16
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the first sex ed class i remember having was in 5th grade
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      05-01-2018, 08:33 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ASAP View Post
does the option for showing a pornhub video exist? nothing weird... conservative positions
Here is the ancient version: the erotic temples of Khajuraho, India. Parents would bring their children to see the carvings because they were too embarrassed to explain stuff themselves.



In addition to showing kids what to do, the sculptures showed kids what NOT to do. There is one image of a guy making the nasty with a horse... and the image of his execution is right next to it.

Last edited by rlmesq; 05-01-2018 at 08:35 PM.. Reason: Chose an image that was a little less graphic...
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      05-01-2018, 08:46 PM   #18
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If you don't mind me offering advice, you probably realize that any sort of religious overtones such as abstinence could fall on deaf ears depending on your relationship with her and could cause her to reject you or your beliefs. This is common. There is not only peer pressure at this age, but curiosity which no matter what you do, including all sorts of education cannot overcome. Now, I am not telling you to do anything and it certainly matters what sort of personality your teen girl has, but we put our daughter on the pill in her junior year because we came to grips with reality. Unless you wish to make your child a prisoner, its best to discuss not only sex, but birth control.
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      05-01-2018, 09:25 PM   #19
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When I was a kid I once happened to find a book with a scientific yet popular enough comprehensive explanation of different sexual issues from anatomy through physiology and medicine to social aspects (no sexual techniques in any depth, just acknowledgment of their existence and importance) in our home library. When my mother noticed I was studying it she took it away and hid but I found it and read everything interesting stealthily but thoroughly. A few years later she suggested I should read the book but I wasn't really interested as I knew it pretty much by heart already. That was sufficient. I never talked to anyone about sex (except listening to friends' bullshit, of course).

1> From what age is sex education appropriate

When it becomes interesting to the child.

2> Is it the states responsibility

Of course not! Yet a formal rather than intimate introduction looks preferable to me.
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      05-01-2018, 09:51 PM   #20
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Based on how kids dress at the mall these days, I’d say 5-6 years old.
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      05-01-2018, 10:25 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jaye944 View Post
So 2 questions

1> From what age is sex education appropriate
2> Is it the states responsibility

So I am all for "relationship" teaching, and also teaching regarding "inappropriate" touching/behavior.

It seems that the taking away of innocence ...

So my DD believes in Santa and the Tooth Fairy, but is also going through basic sex ed, on sperm ovum etc etc

As a Christian I teach my daughter (on our belief's) on morality, bible scripture the full 9, she also get's taught about respect, loving people, and everyone is different.

I was kinda hoping on doing the birds and the bees in and ongoing conversation as I thought appropriate for my daughter.

Sex ed is of course very important, I understand this, but how soon and how much is my concern,
If a young person asks a question about the birds and the bees a serious answer should be given vs changing the subject or avoiding the question. The fact the kid is asking means they are mature enough for the answers to their questions even if their parents are not. This is regardless of someone's beliefs.

The younger the child the more satisfied they will be with basic answers. The questions will grow as well as their expectation for more detailed answers. This will leave the window for discussion open and keep things from becoming awkward and your kids will grow up with what you'd expect, a hearty sex education.

The last thing anyone wants is their Kid to be unaware, or get the wrong idea about the topic from external sources.

You have a choice. Answer the questions or someone else will.
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      05-02-2018, 10:08 AM   #22
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First sex ed class in 5th grade. Just taught us about how the female parts work, at that point I know I knew what sex was and every other kid did too.

They didnít really make us go through sex ed until 9th grade which was way too late. I knew of a few kids that already adventured at that point. Hell I remember a girl getting pregnant at the end of the year. I would say first year of middle school is probably the best time, with continued education about why protection is important.
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