"I don't have proof of it but I just know it's true" - post yours

Esteban · 07-30-2021, 11:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gregrobin

My penis used to be bigger...

Me too. At least that's what my wife says. I personally, don't recall.

vreihen16 · 07-30-2021, 12:01 PM

...that tortilla soup is a better laxative than even a colonoscopy prep kit!

I wasn't feeling hungry last night, so I just had some leftover tortilla soup from my DW's lunch.

After breakfast this morning, my innards started rumbling. Long story short, I dropped over three pounds of chronic constipation into our ceramic throne right before lunch today.

Last week, my DW picked up a small tortilla soup from another local restaurant for me. It looked/tasted identical to last night's soup, and likewise resulted in a purge the next day. (I never once ate tortilla soup before then, and Mexican food doesn't give me that reaction.)

I'm pretty sure that the soup is pre-packaged from a wholesale store like Sam's Club or Restaurant Depot, and am now on the hunt to find the source for medicinal purposes. It seems to have worked better and more reliably than the multiple constipation prescriptions I'm on.....

TiMSport · 07-30-2021, 12:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esteban

Me too. At least that's what my wife says. I personally, don't recall.

She might be comparing to the young macho pool boy.

Esteban · 07-30-2021, 12:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TiMSport

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esteban

Me too. At least that's what my wife says. I personally, don't recall.

She might be comparing to the young macho pool boy.

Yeah, you could be right, that slut! lol

Wait! I don't have a pool!

Must do some investigating…

TiMSport · 07-30-2021, 12:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esteban

Yeah, you could be right, that slut! lol

Wait! I don't have a pool!

Must do some investigating…

^^ You know you're old when....

Esteban · 07-30-2021, 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TiMSport

^^ You know you're old when....

There is Gustavo, the gardener. Found hedgers by the back door the other day, and the wife had a faint odor of fresh cut grass on her. Asked her about it and she said she had taken a walk in the garden that day and it must've gotten on her.

Hmmm...

TiMSport · 07-30-2021, 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esteban

There is Gustavo, the gardener. Found hedgers by the back door the other day, and the wife had a faint odor of fresh cut grass on her. Asked her about it and she said she had taken a walk in the garden that day and it must've gotten on her.

Hmmm...

LOL. Yeah, sounds pretty fishy to me. We may have solved the mystery. Does Gustavo look like this? If so, surprised you didn't pick up the cut grass scent many times previously.

Esteban · 07-30-2021, 01:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TiMSport

LOL. Yeah, sounds pretty fishy to me. We may have solved the mystery. Does Gustavo look like this? If so, surprised you didn't pick up the cut grass scent many times previously.

Gustavo is the new gardener. The previous one was old and he retired.

I think we've figured it out.

TiMSport · 07-30-2021, 01:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esteban

Gustavo is the new gardener. The previous one was old and he retired.

I think we've figured it out.

There was Gustavo Sr. and now it's Gustavo Jr. LOL.
Senior put in a good word to get his son hired to take care of the "gardening" at your place.

Esteban · 07-30-2021, 01:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TiMSport

There was Gustavo Sr. and now it's Gustavo Jr. LOL.
Senior put in a good word to get his son hired to take care of the "gardening" at your place.

He did have a pretty big weed wacker!

TiMSport · 07-30-2021, 01:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esteban

He did have a pretty big weed wacker!

And not the battery operated kind either. The old skool gasoline fired kind! Sorry bro.

Esteban · 07-30-2021, 01:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TiMSport

And not the battery operated kind either. The old skool gasoline fired kind! Sorry bro.

Definitely! Those guys don't use no stinkin' electric tools. Only gas fired babies for them.

TiMSport · 07-30-2021, 01:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esteban

Definitely! Those guys don't use no stinkin' electric tools. Only gas fired babies for them.

Yeah fortunately I do my own gardening as I wouldn't want to risk hiring Gustavo. Could be a family wrecker.

Esteban · 07-30-2021, 02:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TiMSport

Yeah fortunately I do my own gardening as I wouldn't want to risk hiring Gustavo. Could be a family wrecker.

I'm sure there's a Gustavo working somewhere in your neighborhood.

Gregrobin · 07-30-2021, 02:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esteban

I'm sure there's a Gustavo working somewhere in your neighborhood.

At lease he calls it "working"

Esteban · 07-30-2021, 02:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esteban

I'm sure there's a Gustavo working somewhere in your neighborhood.

Wait, that sounds racist. Could be Bao, or Tommaso, or Günter, or Akihiro, or John, or Santiago, or Mary.

TiMSport · 07-30-2021, 02:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Esteban

Wait, that sounds racist. Could be Bao, or Tommaso, or Günter, or Akihiro, or John, or Santiago, or Mary.

LOL! Very true. Regardless, I have my Nest security cams around the perimeter so I'll keep an eye out on any intrusion by unsolicited gardeners!

evil-G-nius · 07-31-2021, 11:08 PM

"I don't have proof of it but I just know it's true"

I'm from planet Krypton and boobs are made of some form of kryptonite

TiMSport · 07-31-2021, 11:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by evil-G-nius

"I don't have proof of it but I just know it's true"

I'm from planet Krypton and boobs are made of some form of kryptonite

Are you trying to subtly tell us something?

evil-G-nius · 08-01-2021, 03:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TiMSport

Are you trying to subtly tell us something?

Buug959 · 08-01-2021, 05:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by evil-G-nius

Shouldn't that be in the "Confess Here" thread?

Littlebear · 08-01-2021, 05:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LemansE90335xi

Shouldn't that be in the "Confess Here" thread?

No need to 'confess' that!

07-30-2021, 12:01 PM	#948
vreihen16 Recovering Perfectionist 15144 Rep 941 Posts Drives: 2015 BMW i3 BEV Join Date: Jun 2019 Location: Orange County, NY iTrader: (0) Garage List 2014 Mighty Freight ... [0.00] 2015 BMW i3 BEV [0.00] 2000 Audi TT Quattro [0.00] 1967 Formula Vee [0.00]	...that tortilla soup is a better laxative than even a colonoscopy prep kit! I wasn't feeling hungry last night, so I just had some leftover tortilla soup from my DW's lunch. After breakfast this morning, my innards started rumbling. Long story short, I dropped over three pounds of chronic constipation into our ceramic throne right before lunch today. Last week, my DW picked up a small tortilla soup from another local restaurant for me. It looked/tasted identical to last night's soup, and likewise resulted in a purge the next day. (I never once ate tortilla soup before then, and Mexican food doesn't give me that reaction.) I'm pretty sure that the soup is pre-packaged from a wholesale store like Sam's Club or Restaurant Depot, and am now on the hunt to find the source for medicinal purposes. It seems to have worked better and more reliably than the multiple constipation prescriptions I'm on..... __________________ 2015 BMW i3 BEV, Giga World (Lodge interior), Tech/Driving Assist Packages, 30K miles
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07-31-2021, 11:08 PM	#964
evil-G-nius Broke A$$ Super Hero 2212 Rep 248 Posts Drives: Infiniti G37 S Coupe Join Date: Jan 2021 Location: PSL Florida iTrader: (0)	"I don't have proof of it but I just know it's true" I'm from planet Krypton and boobs are made of some form of kryptonite
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