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      09-11-2020, 03:33 PM   #1
jpy1980
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The Husband/Dad Rant Thread!

I never seen this type of thread before so I'll start.

I just had my second kid during this pandemic and man oh man is it tiring!

I also have a 3 year old who discovered the lovely task of waking up in the middle of the night to drag me out of bed onto their bed. I haven't had a good nights rest since June!

PLUS WE ARE STUCK AT HOME ALL DAY EVERY DAY DUE TO THIS PANDEMIC!

Also, I want a truck but my wife says no! BAH! I can't have my F80 and a truck because "that's wasteful"

Please guys, commiserate with me so I can feel better! =P

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      09-11-2020, 03:43 PM   #2
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Father of a 22 m/o checking in kill me now
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      09-11-2020, 03:43 PM   #3
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I miss my kids; whatever you have to go through to be with yours, do that.
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      09-11-2020, 03:51 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by 2000cs View Post
I miss my kids; whatever you have to go through to be with yours, do that.
Ah, yes of course, I understand that...but....

*huggin my kids now*

*I'm not crying, YOU ARE*
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      09-11-2020, 03:52 PM   #5
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Father of a 22 m/o checking in kill me now
Wrenching and detailing cars my life support
Haha, your wife lets you out?! Lucky you!

Wait till #2.
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      09-11-2020, 04:05 PM   #6
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Also our E90 330 and 325 will soon have some sort of boost. So there is actually more of a chance to get more hp out of a 330 then a 335 in my opinion
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      09-11-2020, 04:20 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jpy1980 View Post
Haha, your wife lets you out?! Lucky you!

Wait till #2.
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      09-11-2020, 04:31 PM   #8
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Being a parent is tiring all the way around sir. Mine are 20 and 21. I wished that someone had told me before kids that (most) marriages don't last and that kids give not a single shit about the hell you go through, as a parent, to feed, clothe, educate and instill good morals. I love my boys more than life itself, but amazes me at how they care not for the sacrifices made for them...no matter how great or how insignificant.

In reality, wrap your arms around those little shits and enjoy every second you can with them. The next 15-18 years is going to fly by. Then you'll still be tired......and wish they were the size they are now. Each age comes with it's own challenges. Something else no one ever told me, being a parent is more of the kids teaching you to be a parent that you teaching your kids a damn thing. Enjoy the ride, it will be bumpy....but also very rewarding.
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      09-11-2020, 05:06 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by King Rudi View Post
Being a parent is tiring all the way around sir. Mine are 20 and 21. I wished that someone had told me before kids that (most) marriages don't last and that kids give not a single shit about the hell you go through, as a parent, to feed, clothe, educate and instill good morals. I love my boys more than life itself, but amazes me at how they care not for the sacrifices made for them...no matter how great or how insignificant.

In reality, wrap your arms around those little shits and enjoy every second you can with them. The next 15-18 years is going to fly by. Then you'll still be tired......and wish they were the size they are now. Each age comes with it's own challenges. Something else no one ever told me, being a parent is more of the kids teaching you to be a parent that you teaching your kids a damn thing. Enjoy the ride, it will be bumpy....but also very rewarding.
Wise words indeed King Rudi.

We have a 20 year old Son who can be the most ungrateful and demanding piece of work I have ever met. I cannot believe the way he speaks to both his Mother and I at times, it’s like someone else raised him, BUT, we love him with every beat of our heart.

With saying that he is also a great young man we are both very, very proud of and we have been blessed!
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      09-11-2020, 05:41 PM   #10
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Wow where to start.... father of 2. The boy is 2 years old and the girl is 7 months, born just before the pandemic. Been working from home for the past 6 months. Work is giving everyone the option of working from home for the foreseeable future or coming in on a staggered 3 day a week (with the following week WFH) schedule. Guess what I picked? Yep... I’m one of the few fools who is opting to go back just because I need a change of environment.

I love my kids but the youngest one is really making life pretty tough. The constant whining and crying just because she needs to be held is really testing mine and my wife’s patience, and my wife has the patience of a...well...very patient person lol. One kid is pretty manageable in regards to still being able to do a lot of what you did before but with minor modification. With two young kids close in age, forget about it. I can’t remember the last time I was able to watch a movie in peace with my wife or eat a meal in peace. From the moment your first kid is born, it’s all about them, rightfully so. My car, my motorcycle, the gym... they’re all still a part of my life but it takes modification to make them work. I just wish my wife and I spaced out having kids a bit more... I think we’re definitely done with having kids.

It definitely makes you appreciate everything your parents did for you when you have your own kids.

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      09-11-2020, 07:23 PM   #11
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This thread is the perfect excuse for me not wanting to be a husband or a father lol. Bachelor life ftw!
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      09-11-2020, 07:40 PM   #12
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There is an old parental curse, I hope you have kids that turn out just like you!
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      09-11-2020, 08:48 PM   #13
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Every dad's struggles are their own cross to bear. I wish I have the time many of you dads enjoy even with the challenges you all are going through. Coming from a situation where my ex pretty much did everything possible to make having time with our daughter a challenge and living nightmare, I'd gladly trade circumstances. Before the pandemic and before the custody agreement was solidified, I literally spent 10 hours a week driving back and forth to have time with my daughter while still managing a demanding full time sales job. The stress sent me to the hospital once as my doc thought I was having a heart attack. Before things got really bad with the ex, I spent about 2 weeks one time literally driving about 50 miles round trip 4 to 5 days of the week. I racked up 15k miles in 6 months on my 1er.

While the custody agreement made things easier, it was at the expense of having to accept the standard bullshit every other weekend and once a week dinner visit. And if anyone thinks I didn't look into fighting for 50/50, I did. The unfortunate thing was I trusted the wench during the separation and backed myself into a terrible corner. She flat out told us (myself and attorney) that 50/50 is a non starter. And because I was the main bread winner and she stayed at home through her own choice, I was on the hook for her attorney's fees. So she can take all the time she wanted as I was paying for both of our attorneys.

As my little girl grows up, it makes it harder and harder to drop her off at the ex's. I've been dealing with not having my little girl around full time for over 2 years now. I can count on one hand the number of days I've missed with my little girl. In my situation, every second my daughter is with me is precious.
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      09-11-2020, 08:57 PM   #14
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This thread is the perfect excuse for me not wanting to be a husband or a father lol. Bachelor life ftw!
It's not just the stresses of raising kids, it's the whole state of family law. As King Rudi stated, many people go into a marriage thinking it's forever and find out it's not Disney movie. The stats bear it out. Having gone through one of the ultimate betrayals, I can honestly say I will never get married again. There's a reason why suicide rates for men going through a divorce are so high. I wished I had come across some alternate perspectives with the whole red pill movement before saying, "I do". Would you knowingly get into a car with the full knowledge that you are going to have a 50/50 chance of getting seriously hurt? Then when you do get hurt, the state comes in and dictates the care you get? Had I learned to look at a marriage in that context, it would have given me pause as to what I was signing up for.

But to tie this back into this thread. With the knowledge of the pain I went through with a short marriage and how badly I got screwed, would I do it all over again? I can honestly say yes. The reason? If I didn't get married, I wouldn't have my daughter. God knows I've been through all sorts of hell. Despite all of that, my love of my daughter has been unconditional.
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We might not be in an agreement on Trump, but I'll be the first penis chaser here to say I'll rather take it up in the ass than to argue with you on this.
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      09-11-2020, 09:02 PM   #15
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Father of two and used to enjoy dropping them off at school but that has changed to virtual.
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      09-11-2020, 09:48 PM   #16
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Father of 2 men. 27 and 29. Guys, I feel you. There is no more difficult, yet rewarding job as being a father. There is nothing better in this world than watching your kids do well at something, and nothing more heartwrenching than watching them fail at something. As a dad, you get to see both. For me, I thoroughly enjoyed the younger years. 8th grade through high school pretty much sucked. Superman had entered the picture... When they hit about 25, they figured out that dad (and mom) weren't such bad people, and did the best that they could. It came full circle, and now we are friends again. I love it when they text or call and share the trouble they have, and ask what I would do. Cat's in the Cradle. Good or bad, have patience, love them, discipline them, and enjoy every minute. Your nest will be empty sooner than later, and the fountain of youth exists for nobody, not even your kids.
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      09-11-2020, 09:55 PM   #17
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      09-12-2020, 12:54 AM   #18
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Good morning from Switzerland. It's Carwash day for me. My wife is doing garden work with the boys (1.5 and 4.5y/o)
We are blessed from what I hear. First one slept through almost every night from the beginning. Second needs food once every night. Cars are all fine for the family as well. Pandemic was not that worse over here. But we can work from home as much or as little we want. We actually love it this way.
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      09-12-2020, 01:56 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by King Rudi View Post
Being a parent is tiring all the way around sir. Mine are 20 and 21. I wished that someone had told me before kids that (most) marriages don't last and that kids give not a single shit about the hell you go through, as a parent, to feed, clothe, educate and instill good morals. I love my boys more than life itself, but amazes me at how they care not for the sacrifices made for them...no matter how great or how insignificant.

In reality, wrap your arms around those little shits and enjoy every second you can with them. The next 15-18 years is going to fly by. Then you'll still be tired......and wish they were the size they are now. Each age comes with it's own challenges. Something else no one ever told me, being a parent is more of the kids teaching you to be a parent that you teaching your kids a damn thing. Enjoy the ride, it will be bumpy....but also very rewarding.
They do tend to be much more appreciative when they get out in the real word and discover that $ doesn't fall from trees into their laps. We tried hard to instil that that you don't buy things that you cannot afford to pay for in full. At 28 she has been fully self supporting for several years now. For me, she was a terrible baby and small child, but from ~7 on has been very easy on me.
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      09-12-2020, 02:02 AM   #20
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They grow up so fast. It starts off slow. No sleep. Diapers. Then kindergarten then college just like that. Time is flying by.
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      09-12-2020, 02:15 AM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jpy1980 View Post
I never seen this type of thread before so I'll start.

I just had my second kid during this pandemic and man oh man is it tiring!

I also have a 3 year old who discovered the lovely task of waking up in the middle of the night to drag me out of bed onto their bed. I haven't had a good nights rest since June!

PLUS WE ARE STUCK AT HOME ALL DAY EVERY DAY DUE TO THIS PANDEMIC!

Also, I want a truck but my wife says no! BAH! I can't have my F80 and a truck because "that's wasteful"

Please guys, commiserate with me so I can feel better! =P

CHEERS!


It sounds like you have a sensible wife with whom you have had two amazing children. Sleep deprivation can make you a bit crazy but you will get through this awful time and look back at it and chuckle.

Just remember, whatever you are going through its probably 5 times worse for your wife in terms of sleep and taking care of the kids. Just take a moment and give her a great big hug and say thank you.

You can thank me later! Good luck!
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      09-12-2020, 06:33 AM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by King Rudi View Post
Being a parent is tiring all the way around sir. Mine are 20 and 21. I wished that someone had told me before kids that (most) marriages don't last and that kids give not a single shit about the hell you go through, as a parent, to feed, clothe, educate and instill good morals. I love my boys more than life itself, but amazes me at how they care not for the sacrifices made for them...no matter how great or how insignificant.

In reality, wrap your arms around those little shits and enjoy every second you can with them. The next 15-18 years is going to fly by. Then you'll still be tired......and wish they were the size they are now. Each age comes with it's own challenges. Something else no one ever told me, being a parent is more of the kids teaching you to be a parent that you teaching your kids a damn thing. Enjoy the ride, it will be bumpy....but also very rewarding.
Well said, 30, 29 and 26. You do the best you can and hope for the best. They will disappoint you, make you crazy and exhaust you. The word thank you or some recognition for the sacrifice is rare or non-existent. I'm not sure if the sacrifices are for them or for us, but you do it and except it. I love my kids but sometimes what to take them outside for a parking lot conversation.

I think I'll give my mother a call today and thank her for what she did for me.

Peace out Dads.
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