Dating - Good/Bad Experiences

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

Great.....now I have wallet envy.

There will always be someone out there with more money, instead be genuine and be funny.

[Sara]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

Great.....now I have wallet envy.

Like I said, I have no idea what his financial situation is. He could be up to his eyes in debt and I just don't know it.


Just be you, be sweet, be kind, and that's all a woman needs.

[Sara]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

Teasing/pranking/flirting is good and is what keeps/elevates the sexual tension.

Being an asshole is a major turnoff. One of my female friends described a similar date she had to yours where "he passed the friendzone and went straight to asshole land where he shall never return from".

Scary movies at night are also good for elevating sexual tension. You have to cuddle really close on the couch.

[dinonz]

Originally Posted by Sara504

You can't be that bad. Post your photo, let me see.

Oh yes - I can I'm just not photogenic at all. The angle doesn't help with the fat neck looking down at the camera, and unshaven (which honestly is covid normal for me), but I just don't photograph well.

I included my dog in the hopes of at least there being something worth looking at - he's cute!

[vreihen16]

Originally Posted by Sara504

Okay here's the thing, he either has money or has MASSIVE debt.

If he doesn't bring up the subject of a pre-nup, assume the latter and insist on one yourself.....

[Sara]

Originally Posted by dinonz

Oh yes - I can I'm just not photogenic at all. The angle doesn't help with the fat neck looking down at the camera, and unshaven (which honestly is covid normal for me), but I just don't photograph well.

I included my dog in the hopes of at least there being something worth looking at - he's cute!

You've got an adorable dog, you have a lot of hair for a man your age, and hopefully you're tall. While you're not my type, I'm certain you will make some lady a very lucky woman.

[dinonz]

Originally Posted by Sara504

You've got an adorable dog, you have a lot of hair for a man your age, and hopefully you're tall. While you're not my type, I'm certain you will make some lady a very lucky woman.

I appreciate your effort to be polite. Yes - I have hair - WAY more than you possibly want to know about. I'm just as tall as I told you I was at the beginning of this conversation - 5'10". And yes - my dog is adorable.

I think I will be single for life, because what I am looking for isn't looking for me. And what's looking for me won't fit in my cars, which would be a huge problem - and I'm not even joking. One of my cars subtly reminds me that I'm too portly to own it, and that I need to lose weight before I drive it next, and I do not have a particularly big butt nor a wide waist. I don't have a condo in Florida, but I do have a supercar in England for European vacations, and women over a certain size simply will not fit in the seat.

It might sound shallow, but I cannot date a larger woman because she will not fit in my cars, and that will ruin most of the enjoyment I have in life attending car shows and enjoying driving my cars. But slim women are generally not attracted to me.

C'est la vie. I'm going to go cry in one of my Lamborghinis now. Not sure which one though

[Sara]

Originally Posted by dinonz

I appreciate your effort to be polite. Yes - I have hair - WAY more than you possibly want to know about. I'm just as tall as I told you I was at the beginning of this conversation - 5'10". And yes - my dog is adorable.

I think I will be single for life, because what I am looking for isn't looking for me. And what's looking for me won't fit in my cars, which would be a huge problem - and I'm not even joking. One of my cars subtly reminds me that I'm too portly to own it, and that I need to lose weight before I drive it next, and I do not have a particularly big butt nor a wide waist. I don't have a condo in Florida, but I do have a supercar in England for European vacations, and women over a certain size simply will not fit in the seat.

It might sound shallow, but I cannot date a larger woman because she will not fit in my cars, and that will ruin most of the enjoyment I have in life attending car shows and enjoying driving my cars. But slim women are generally not attracted to me.

C'est la vie. I'm going to go cry in one of my Lamborghinis now. Not sure which one though

You have to be the man the woman you seek wants. For me, I want a better than average looking guy, so I tell myself I have to be better than average looking to attract that type of guy. What I do to attract a guy like this is, making sure I stay fit and petite, making sure my face is better than average by getting botox, lip injections, plastic surgery on my face, on other parts of my body, keeping my hair long, full, and always keep up with my highlights, not letting my nails get chipped or atrocious, keeping my eyebrows done and microbladed, making sure I always look presentable and not wearing hobo clothes. I have to do a little more than most women because I want more than the average woman. You have to be what you want to attract. I love hearing compliments on how gorgeous my boyfriends look. It's validates how much effort I put into looking nice. Most recently, I had surgery and my then boyfriend brought me and waited in the waiting room for me. The nurse who took me back to the OR kept saying how handsome he was and how we are such a beautiful couple, and that's the shit I love hearing and makes it worth all the effort I put in.

What are you doing to reach that goal (woman)? What are you doing to lose weight?

Your height is great. You've got a leg up on a lot of guys right there and that should help with your confidence.

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by dinonz

I appreciate your effort to be polite. Yes - I have hair - WAY more than you possibly want to know about. I'm just as tall as I told you I was at the beginning of this conversation - 5'10". And yes - my dog is adorable.

I think I will be single for life, because what I am looking for isn't looking for me. And what's looking for me won't fit in my cars, which would be a huge problem - and I'm not even joking. One of my cars subtly reminds me that I'm too portly to own it, and that I need to lose weight before I drive it next, and I do not have a particularly big butt nor a wide waist. I don't have a condo in Florida, but I do have a supercar in England for European vacations, and women over a certain size simply will not fit in the seat.

It might sound shallow, but I cannot date a larger woman because she will not fit in my cars, and that will ruin most of the enjoyment I have in life attending car shows and enjoying driving my cars. But slim women are generally not attracted to me.

C'est la vie. I'm going to go cry in one of my Lamborghinis now. Not sure which one though

Originally Posted by Sara504

You have to be the man the woman you seek wants. For me, I want a better than average looking guy, so I tell myself I have to be better than average looking to attract that type of guy. What I do to attract a guy like this is, making sure I stay fit and petite, making sure my face is better than average by getting botox, lip injections, plastic surgery on my face, on other parts of my body, keeping my hair long, full, and always keep up with my highlights, not letting my nails get chipped or atrocious, keeping my eyebrows done and microbladed, making sure I always look presentable and not wearing hobo clothes. I have to do a little more than most women because I want more than the average woman. You have to be what you want to attract. I love hearing compliments on how gorgeous my boyfriends look. It's validates how much effort I put into looking nice. Most recently, I had surgery and my then boyfriend brought me and waited in the waiting room for me. The nurse who took me back to the OR kept saying how handsome he was and how we are such a beautiful couple, and that's the shit I love hearing and makes it worth all the effort I put in.

What are you doing to reach that goal (woman)? What are you doing to lose weight?

Your height is great. You've got a leg up on a lot of guys right there and that should help with your confidence.

Sara is 100% correct. There is a lid for every pot and you are wealthy. A few personal lifestyle changes and you will be in the literal, catbird seat. Play to your strengths and neutralize your weaknesses to achieve the goals you want.

Sara is doing it EXACTLY right and we can all learn a lesson from it.

There is a great and a bit laughable piece on it:

A businessman offers his sage advice:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I see it.


Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a cr@ppy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity … in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold … hence the rub … marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful” as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way. Classic “pump and dump.”

Trust me, Dinoz, you can do it.

[Sara]

Originally Posted by MKSixer

Sara is 100% correct. There is a lid for every pot and you are wealthy. A few personal lifestyle changes and you will be in the literal, catbird seat. Play to your strengths and neutralize your weaknesses to achieve the goals you want.

Sara is doing it EXACTLY right and we can all learn a lesson from it.

There is a great and a bit laughable piece on it:

A businessman offers his sage advice:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I see it.


Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a cr@ppy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity … in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold … hence the rub … marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful” as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way. Classic “pump and dump.”

Trust me, Dinoz, you can do it.

Exactly this.

And it's not always about money for women. Dinonz has a lambo. That's cool but it's not everything. I'm head over heels for a guy who drives a Ford F150 and I love his truck! He's perfect to me with or without a vehicle. It's what he does, how he treats me, and how he takes care of himself that I'm attracted to, not what he has materialistically.

[dinonz]

Originally Posted by Sara504

Exactly this.

And it's not always about money for women. Dinonz has a lambo. That's cool but it's not everything. I'm head over heels for a guy who drives a Ford F150 and I love his truck! He's perfect to me with or without a vehicle. It's what he does, how he treats me, and how he takes care of himself that I'm attracted to, not what he has materialistically.

What good looking people often fail to recognize is that no matter how hard I try to work on my body and figure and appearance, my looks won't change. I could have the hottest body in the world for someone in their 50s and you have pretty much already stated that you wouldn't be interested because I'm not good looking enough, so it doesn't matter how charming my personality or how well I treat my friends and loved ones, you would never know.

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by dinonz

What good looking people often fail to recognize is that no matter how hard I try to work on my body and figure and appearance, my looks won't change. I could have the hottest body in the world for someone in their 50s and you have pretty much already stated that you wouldn't be interested because I'm not good looking enough, so it doesn't matter how charming my personality or how well I treat my friends and loved ones, you would never know.

Looks can change, and I don't mean plastic surgery.

Work on your body if you aren't happy with it. I bet if you worked out, got a clean shave and changed your hair style a bit you'd have chicks lined up to go for rides in your cars. If you have weight to lose, get after it. It will also give you more confidence.

I was terrible with the ladies back in high school. I was 5'10 and 110 lbs, I looked like I could blow away with a strong wind. I wasn't necessarily ugly but was quiet, a bit nerdy looking and had zero confidence. I've since done martial arts, took a public speaking course, and have worked out for a few years. I've put on 40 lbs, bulked up a good bit, and have a lot more confidence. It has made quite the difference. The last girl I dated was someone I would've never thought of even talking to back in high school, and she's the one who asked me out.

[Sara]

Originally Posted by dinonz

What good looking people often fail to recognize is that no matter how hard I try to work on my body and figure and appearance, my looks won't change. I could have the hottest body in the world for someone in their 50s and you have pretty much already stated that you wouldn't be interested because I'm not good looking enough, so it doesn't matter how charming my personality or how well I treat my friends and loved ones, you would never know.

Okay, let's start by asking what are you doing to enhance your appearance? What look are you trying to go for? There is so much you can do, permanent and nonpermanent things. So, tell me some things you'd like to change about your appearance.

For me, I had a nose I didn't like, so I got rhinoplasty
My lips are such white girl lips, like non existent, I get 1cc of juvederm injected them every 5-6 months, poof problem solved
I didn't like the natural shape or color of my eyebrows, so I get them micro bladed and darkened (and guys that shit HURTS), another problem checked off
I didn't like my chest, surgery, problem solved
Don't like wrinkles, I get botox every 5 months, forever young now
I hate my red hair, so I changed it the blonde, easy peasy
I dont like glasses, I had lasik, now I'm not four eyes

Trust me when I say the face and body God gave me is nothing like the face and body I have now. My mother says I don't have a mom, I have a manufacturer. And there's nothing wrong with that. But I do all of this and keep the maintenance up because I like a certain type of guy, who wouldn't typically go for how I'd look naturally. So you can change yourself, you just have to want to do it bad enough.

I was born the ugly duckling, I know how it feels.

[Chihuahua]

Originally Posted by dinonz

What good looking people often fail to recognize is that no matter how hard I try to work on my body and figure and appearance, my looks won't change. I could have the hottest body in the world for someone in their 50s and you have pretty much already stated that you wouldn't be interested because I'm not good looking enough, so it doesn't matter how charming my personality or how well I treat my friends and loved ones, you would never know.

Maybe not for one particular person, but definitely for someone else.

Dude, just be you. Be your true, genuine self, whatever that is. Own it. Don't try to make yourself into something you're not just to appease someone else. Fuck that shit, that's exhausting work. People can sniff out insincerity from a mile away. If someone doesn't like who you are, then that person quite simply isn't a match. Period, the end. Put yourself out there, the real you, and you'll do just fine.

My $.02

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by Sara504

Okay, let's start by asking what are you doing to enhance your appearance? What look are you trying to go for? There is so much you can do, permanent and nonpermanent things. So, tell me some things you'd like to change about your appearance.

For me, I had a nose I didn't like, so I got rhinoplasty
My lips are such white girl lips, like non existent, I get 1cc of juvederm injected them every 5-6 months, poof problem solved
I didn't like the natural shape or color of my eyebrows, so I get them micro bladed and darkened (and guys that shit HURTS), another problem checked off
I didn't like my chest, surgery, problem solved
Don't like wrinkles, I get botox every 5 months, forever young now
I hate my red hair, so I changed it the blonde, easy peasy
I dont like glasses, I had lasik, now I'm not four eyes

Trust me when I say the face and body God gave me is nothing like the face and body I have now. My mother says I don't have a mom, I have a manufacturer. And there's nothing wrong with that. But I do all of this and keep the maintenance up because I like a certain type of guy, who wouldn't typically go for how I'd look naturally. So you can change yourself, you just have to want to do it bad enough.

I was born the ugly duckling, I know how it feels.

Spot on.

Personally, I had 2 blossoming's. One when I got to 8th grade and the other as a junior in HS. In college, I got dozens of dates simply from my college yearbook pictures. Post-divorce, I date 9s and 10s. Bikini models, fitness models, Hispanic channel weather girls, former pro volley ball girls, etc. You get the point.

dinonz, Listen to Sara. Get a personal trainer, grab some weights, and hit up the plastic surgeon. Because my nose had been broken 4 times it was crooked...I got it fixed 13 years ago. I breathe better and I look better.

Listen to Sara. She is giving you something most of us never get...the view from the other side.

[Sara]

Originally Posted by MKSixer

Spot on.

Personally, I had 2 blossoming's. One when I got to 8th grade and the other as a junior in HS. In college, I got dozens of dates simply from my college yearbook pictures. Post-divorce, I date 9s and 10s. Bikini models, fitness models, Hispanic channel weather girls, former pro volley ball girls, etc. You get the point.

dinonz, Listen to Sara. Get a personal trainer, grab some weights, and hit up the plastic surgeon. Because my nose had been broken 4 times it was crooked...I got it fixed 13 years ago. I breathe better and I look better.

Listen to Sara. She is giving you something most of us never get...the view from the other side.

Are you 5'10' or taller?

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by Chihuahua

Maybe not for one particular person, but definitely for someone else.

Dude, just be you. Be your true, genuine self, whatever that is. Own it. Don't try to make yourself into something you're not just to appease someone else. Fuck that shit, that's exhausting work. People can sniff out insincerity from a mile away. If someone doesn't like who you are, then that person quite simply isn't a match. Period, the end. Put yourself out there, the real you, and you'll do just fine.

My $.02

Great post and I don't think the two thoughts are mutually exclusive.

I think becoming your optimum self helps self confidence. This isn't about developing another personality but optimizing all of your physical tools.

[cmyx6go]

Originally Posted by dinonz

What good looking people often fail to recognize is that no matter how hard I try to work on my body and figure and appearance, my looks won't change. I could have the hottest body in the world for someone in their 50s and you have pretty much already stated that you wouldn't be interested because I'm not good looking enough, so it doesn't matter how charming my personality or how well I treat my friends and loved ones, you would never know.

Beauty is skin deep. It’s about confidence, attitude, and character. How you carry yourself has alot to do with how people perceive you. Hold your head high. Let your personality shine through. You need to be happy with yourself first though. You can fake that, but you need to get there. You have a lot to offer, you need to project that. I think you’re too hard on yourself. You’re obviously successful. You seem like a good person. That means a lot. Be proud. Get a haircut, shave, dress nice. If you’re down on yourself and show it, it projects. Beauty fades. Character does not.

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by Sara504

Are you 5'10' or taller?

Just under 6 feet...

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by cmyx6go

Beauty is skin deep. It’s about confidence, attitude, and character. How you carry yourself has alot to do with how people perceive you. Hold your head high. Let your personality shine through. You need to be happy with yourself first though. You can fake that, but you need to get there. You have a lot to offer, you need to project that. I think you’re too hard on yourself. You’re obviously successful. You seem like a good person. That means a lot. Be proud. Get a haircut, shave, dress nice. If you’re down on yourself and show it, it projects.

Boom.

This...

[Sara]

Originally Posted by cmyx6go

Be proud. Get a haircut, shave, dress nice. If you’re down on yourself and show it, it projects.

I second all of this. A simple wardrobe change can do wonders. I don't know what your typical style is but if it doesn't include nice slacks and dress shoes for grocery shopping or a Target run, I suggest you try it. A well dressed guy in either of those locations is guaranteed to catch my attention.

[Tambohamilton]

Just for a bit of symmetry here, and I'm genuinely not trying to bash anyone... Would I prefer Sara pre-surgery or post? Without it, every day. But that's just me and my values/preferences. I'm also not the man she seeks (I'm at least 1/4" shy of 5'10" ), so that all basically tallies up. I am Scottish though and I think in the US that shunts me up the desirability scale at least 1 point

I would like to have my nose unbent sometime though, so I'm not dead set against surgery.

But echoing what others have said here; be the person you want to be. Work on your fitness first; I guarantee you that the process of getting shape will not only improve your physique, but also lift your mood and hone your mind. All problems of the mind get better with exercise... This is some advice I really need to follow myself!

You can do it! (If you want to)