[Xtabi]

Story #1

One night at soccer camp I heard screening outside my door. 'Look at this I did it!' I recognized the voice belonging to our keeper.

I open my door to see him looking right at me....naked....with a gummy life saver around his wang.

One of my teammates dared him to do it.

My confession is I am still hunted by this image many years later.

--------

Story #2

Another run in with unwanted nakedness...

My senior year in HS I kept hearing my friends say the word 'portraits'. Immediately after that everyone would act VERY disgusted and get pissed that someone said 'the word'. This went on for weeks.

Well I was feeling left out on the secret so I asked wtf was going on. What is the big deal with the word portraits?!?!? So I asked my friend. He was like man trust me you DONT want to know. I was like come on tell me!!! He was like no way man I was you once...and now I can't go back. So I asked others and no one would tell me. So finally, after begging, one of my friends said he would tell me.

A couple weeks later we were at my friends house and he said he was heading over to a neighbor's house to shoot pool. I had never been but not much into pool but went along.

So we get there and they knock on the door. This guy answers. I swear he had to be at least late 70s to 80 something answers. He invites us in and we go downstairs to the basement where the pool table is. Everyone shoots pool. After a while the old dude goes upstairs.

Then my friend comes over to me and says are you sure you want to know about portraits? I said yes. So he has me sit in an old ass couch. Then he walks over to a coffee table in front of me...stands on it....reaches up in the ceiling tile...and pulls something out....walks behind me....and then holds it in front of my face.....OMG THE PORTRAIT!!!! THE HORROR OF WHAT I WITNESSED WAS JUST NASTY BEYOND COMPREHENSION!!! IT WAS POLAROID PICTURES OF THE OLD GUY AND SOME OLD WOMAN ENGAGED IN TORTURE SEX (or whatever it's called) ON THE COUCH I WAS SITTING IN AND IN THE BASEMENT!!!!

20 years later, once a year, I will send an email or text to them simply saying 'PORTRAIT!'