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Originally Posted by Watching The World Burn
Interesting to get a woman's perspective on it - do you think its detrimental? Do you think it has a different effect depending on whether it is a guy vs girl watching it?
[COLOR="Blue"]I think it can be depending on the couple. Anything in excess isn't good for you. I don't think this is an easy question to answer. Is this wife agreeing because she doesn't want to disappoint her husband or she doesn't feel adequate? Does she secretly build resentment? Is the husband afraid to talk to his wife because he needs more? This leads to secrets and in some people shame. I know there are some couples who have a strong relationship and like weird shit and are ok with it. I have also seen said relationships eventually implode. [/COLOR]
[COLOR="Blue"]As far as guy vs girl watching it and having a different effect? I really don't know as this is all off the cuff thinking and no real structural evidence. I would lean to say the effect isn't any different. I think there could be some areas of this where if you drilled down to a more specific area (men watching kiddie porn vs women) than yeah it's more of an effect on men. I can't believe I even just typed that example[/COLOR].
I think it personally is detrimental. There's the dopamine hit that was mentioned previously, but I guess I'd also compare it partially (though not the same) to having sex with multiple partners instead of one. It is my hypothesis, though I don't know, that if you have multiple partners before marriage, that each one brings something different to the table that the other does not (sexually speaking) and vice versa. I think as a result of that, you inevitably wind up comparing the person you married to the others in some way and wishing they did *this*, whatever *this* was. Whereas, had you not had any sex before marriage, you wouldn't have a clue what you were "missing" so to speak. And there wouldn't be the same comparison, by extension, you are then happier.
I think porn basically brings that back in, not to the same degree of course because you aren't experiencing it physically / emotionally, but it creates these unhealthy comparisons which doesn't help your relationship.
This is partially why I'm an advocate for abstaining from sex before marriage, though I completely understand the temptation. To administer the coup de grace to this thread though, I'll have to say it is also because it is a Biblical command.
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Also, so much is sexualized these days. Look at these kids today and the pics they post or filter. I'm by no means a prude but all of this lack of true reality is going to make for a even more screwed up society than we already have.