How do you cope with it?

[MaximusB]

Hey man, you're not alone for sure. Try to find an outlet/hobby, cars could be one but like other have said working out or participate in a sport is also a great way. I know someone who had depression and he found out volunteering and talking/helping other people have had really helped him out.

As for car meets (since I am in Vancouver as well), I would say avoid all the big one organized by Rev Scene. It is pretty hard to meet people there because majority of them tends to ignore you unless you own the same car as them, but they won't really respect you unless you're car have more mods than them...etc. In my experience all big car Rev Scene meets in Vancouver turns into a dick measuring contest between individual car clubs. The bug Thursday night meet at Market Crossing got shut down for awhile because a few guys from the mustang club were doing burnouts and started a fight with another club. Cops and News media all showed up, and made a huge deal out of it in the end.

I'll PM information about the BC BMW club, the crowds in that club are older and more mature. They hold a handful of events every year (almost one a month) and the gatherings are always fun and it is not just all car talks.

[ItsGary]

Originally Posted by cxp213

+1 on the bolded. I'm not a social person and I choose not to be around most people. I also tend to see myself as realistic but that is oftentimes seen as being negative from others' perspective. It probably doesn't help that I have low tolerance for stupidity and for those who choose not to improve themselves, but I digress..

If a general physician is making those diagnoses and prescribing, I highly recommend that you see a psychologist or other mental health professional who isn't just going to feed you more drugs. A psychiatrist is better than a regular doctor but they'll be more inclined to push pills than do actual therapy with you to improve your mindset by working alongside you.


I'm also taking it this way as well, and why I'm recommending that the OP seek help from a mental health professional. A competent one will be able to work out with you on why you may be feeling this way, so you can get to the source of it all, instead of simply trying to relieve the symptoms exhibited.

Not general physicians, but other mental health professionals. Apparently my symptoms started in the 10th grade, I think I can narrow it down to why. I joined this startup program in our school which took you out of a normal class rotation and put into 2 classes, hard to explain, but I only had two teachers and the same classmates for 2 years. Completed 11th grade in the 10th and 10th grade when I was in the 11th. I guess being taken out of a normal rotation kind of fucked with me, as I lost a ton of friends since I didn't have mutual classes with them.

This isn't really a cry for help, just interested in how others deal with it, and if other people are similar. Judging by the responses it looks like I'm not alone.

[last1left]

When I feel down and it's rare I bump and grind more the act raises my endorphins...I wish you luck though keep your head up

[zentanker]

getting a mouth-massage on my member has got me this far in life when times felt rough

kudos to buzzed college girls, the Continental airlines troop appreciation flight attendant team, the cheerleaders and flag corp members from high school, and all other ladies that helped me live this long...

[Needbmwpartzz]

Firstly good on you for reaching out here....lots of good advices here,good move!
When things get sad....you need to get moving(exercise too)and challenging yourself and looking towards positive most of time.
Try changing your perspective by doing things differently....eg visit friends/family,travel/social situations or even start a new hobby to renew enthusiasm for life.
The key is you have to control your thoughts if you tend towards negative then catch yourself then try and reframe you positions more towards positive.....you have that control but you need better awareness of your thinking.....and practice the reframing of negative situations/emotions.
And if needed see a Dr if you can't seem to pull yourself together.
GL OP!

[Germanauto]

I'm in the medical community and can tell you that depression affects people from all backgrounds and life situations. On paper I seem to have it all in life yet I've dealt with varying degrees of depression since my late teenage years.

A lot of people are also genetically predisposed to depression. I get it from my dad's side. Add that to my OCD, minor anxiety, and perfectionist personality and I always seem to feel inadequate.

Luckily it's not debilitating and only affects me more during times of stress. On a day-to-day basis I'm content. Lifting weights, driving a nice car with the windows down, good music, good weather, good friends, good vacations, talking to my parents frequently, etc. are all little things that keep me going.

Unfortunately we live in a society where folks like us are deemed "weak." For all the BS I have been fed in grad school and with my employer about how they value mental health, I know very well they'd deem me not fit for my profession if I didn't hide reality. That goes with making friends, dating, etc. too. Any signs of anxiety, introversion, etc. and you are subconsciously not as well liked by people.

[bimmette]

I also suggest physical activity. Join a basic gym if you haven't yet. It can be overwhelming if you aren't used to that environment but just do your own thing at a slow pace and bring earphones. If you are more brave, join a team sport. I'm introverted and anti-social but I play soccer and love it. I feel very proud of myself for interacting with strangers and physically amazing after each game.
Also, stay off social media like Facebook where people make you believe they are perfectly happy. They aren't.

You aren't alone. Just keep reaching out. We are here for you.

Edit to add: just realized you are local to me. Come out to my BMW meets once they start in the spring. The guys that I met at my meets a couple years ago are all my best friends now, and I'm not exaggerating.

[vinylengraver]

This is going to sound controversial, bordering on stupid, but I really think Vancouver weather does tend to fuck me up real bad sometimes.
I mean it. The lead-like heavy claustrophobic clouds, perpetual dark and gloom and weeks of constant rain can destroy you.
Did you consider moving somewhere less depressing?
I know I did, and it may happen soon.

[zentanker]

Originally Posted by vinylengraver

This is going to sound controversial, bordering on stupid, but I really think Vancouver weather does tend to fuck me up real bad sometimes.
I mean it. The led-like heavy claustrophobic clouds, perpetual dark and gloom and weeks of constant rain can destroy you.
Did you consider moving somewhere less depressing?
I know I did, and it may happen soon.

that's something pretty common, it seems. Though for me it's quite the opposite. Dark, rainy, overcast... that makes me frisky for lack of a better word.


Rainy and dark, that's where I thrive.

[The Chaddening]

My sister is bipolar, doesn’t change the fact that she is an incredible person.

I have seen her low points and I have seen when she is manic on top of the world. When I was younger it drove me crazy, now that I’m older I just see it as something that makes her unique.

Reach out to family, when everything else fades away you always have family.

[P1]

Would take a road trip be a good idea? Some time on open road, visit some new places, see some new faces...

[cxp213]

Originally Posted by vinylengraver

This is going to sound controversial, bordering on stupid, but I really think Vancouver weather does tend to fuck me up real bad sometimes.
I mean it. The led-like heavy claustrophobic clouds, perpetual dark and gloom and weeks of constant rain can destroy you.
Did you consider moving somewhere less depressing?
I know I did, and it may happen soon.

Yeah, there's actually something called "Seasonal Affective Disorder." You should look it up.



OP, as others have suggested, physical activity is certainly a good way to get your body to release endorphins, which can reduce your perception of pain and increase positive feelings. Picking up a hobby to keep your mind occupied is also a great suggestion. Another good suggestion is to practice mindfulness meditation, which can help you be more present in the moment.

[ItsGary]

Well, going out for a walk/run did help. Though it was spooky being at night and since I live in a giant ghetto ass city I didn't get shot.

I'm not a day person, so I'll try to make it a nightly thing. I'm still underweight for my age and height.

Don't remember how tall I am but I'm 120lbs @ age 20

[c1pher]

Not knowing what the source of your sadness is and not being a therapist either, I do a couple of things. I don’t dwell on the past other than lessons learned and I don’t dwell on the things I cannot change. I find those two things keep you in a never ending circle that can keep you from accomplishing good and satisfying things.

Also get your hormone levels checked because that can mess with your emotions. You may have low T or something else going on.

[c1pher]

Originally Posted by Samurai of 2day

Doe5this really work for you...?

I'm asking an honest question because I believe that it's impossible to lie to oneself, without being delusional.

Most intelligent people are incapable of being delusional, because their perception is based on experience and teaching based on interactions with their environment.

I'm not trying to insult your intelligence... Just trying to see if your method would work for those of us who have accepted the "reality " that we do not belong here

I wouldn’t say lie to yourself but rather focus on what’s positive in your life. Everyone, no matter their station, has things they are unhappy about. But I can say living in the US or in the Western world for the most part, we are pretty damned blessed. We have food, shelter and clothes. Beyond that everything else is cake. When you start thinking like that compared to like 90% of the world, you realize how frickin lucky or blessed you are.

Material and loved ones can come and go. You have to master letting go of the emotional attachment in certain cases or the drive to attain everything to find peace. That doesn’t mean become a sociopath but hanging onto a broken heart or any loss just keeps you down. Mourn the loss, yes, but learn and grow from it.

[nyalpine90]

Depression/Sadness no meds or therapist can help you unless you are willing to do it for yourself. That means its upto YOU. At age 20 still young with M3 that I couldnt afford when I was that age and Im sure some kids at your age now. So consider yourself lucky. I think you need to go out interact with others regardless if they are realistic or not. Go back to school, keep your mind occupied. Pick a hobby, or do some traveling. At your age, I was in college taking bus and train 2hr ride because I was paying for my education. I couldnt afford car/insurance/gas etc... LIFE only gets difficult as you get older.

[GT_Man]

I think everyone has low points in life and ive had some the last few months. What has helped me alot is Mindfull mediatation, which I do 1st thing in the morning after taking a dump. 10 mins I just sit there looking into space.

Also I break up my day by going for a walk at lunch, 30 mins outside does wonders. I weight train too which once you get into you think about throughout the day which gives you something to look forward to. Also travel, planning trips gets you into a good mood and to be honest watching comedies, I reccommend the US office.

Hope this helps and good luck

[Never_Enough]

Originally Posted by cxp213

+1 on the bolded. I'm not a social person and I choose not to be around most people. I also tend to see myself as realistic but that is oftentimes seen as being negative from others' perspective. It probably doesn't help that I have low tolerance for stupidity and for those who choose not to improve themselves, but I digress..

If a general physician is making those diagnoses and prescribing, I highly recommend that you see a psychologist or other mental health professional who isn't just going to feed you more drugs. A psychiatrist is better than a regular doctor but they'll be more inclined to push pills than do actual therapy with you to improve your mindset by working alongside you.


I'm also taking it this way as well, and why I'm recommending that the OP seek help from a mental health professional. A competent one will be able to work out with you on why you may be feeling this way, so you can get to the source of it all, instead of simply trying to relieve the symptoms exhibited.

+1 you should really talk to a professional. I hope everything works out for you. We're all fighting demons the world knows nothing about.

[UncleWede]

I simply can't be sad when I go outside and watch my dog play "tag" with the chickens. Since you obviously have interwebs, . . .

The other thing I bet you can try would be laughter yoga. Yoga has a scary feminist connotation, but don't let that fool you. Where do you think yoga pants originated???

20 is tough, you don't yet have the daily grind and responsibilities to fill up your idle thoughts. But most of us have survived, in our own warped ways.

YOU are individual, there isn't another one of you anywhere. That is valuable.

[Germanauto]

Originally Posted by vinylengraver

This is going to sound controversial, bordering on stupid, but I really think Vancouver weather does tend to fuck me up real bad sometimes.
I mean it. The led-like heavy claustrophobic clouds, perpetual dark and gloom and weeks of constant rain can destroy you.
Did you consider moving somewhere less depressing?
I know I did, and it may happen soon.

100%. The only thing I dislike about living in the Seattle area is that piss poor gloomy weather for at minimum 8 straight months of the year. It's pretty damn bad. It feels like there's a constant cloud on your life for 3/4 of your life. Even when you're happy, you know you'd be happier if there were more sun.

Vancouver is one of the greatest places in the world but I'd only ever recommend people visit it between July - September.

[Faredo]

Sad? i have nothing to be sad about, I've lost parents recently and while it hurt more than anything in my life i picked up and carried on.
There are literally billions of people with more to cry about than myself. War torn countries where children are suffering, raped, eaten, you name it.
So what do I do?... I remind myself im a fucking man, hold my head high and provide.

[Sassicaia]

My advice is get a good doctor. Medications help, but finding the type, dosage and combination is as much of an art as it is a science. If you invest the time to get to a combination that works for you it can make a major impact.

Basically the worst thing someone who suffers from depression can do is to try and be a hero and do it on their own.

Treat it no different then if you tore an ACL. You arn't going to get better on your own, and if you dont take the right steps to heal you will limp along your entire life.

I've seen this first hand with more then one very close friend.